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Some people believe that living in a busy city has more benefits than drawbacks, while others think the opposite.

Some people believe that living in a busy city has more benefits than drawbacks, while others think the opposite. G3oBw
Some people believe that living in a busy city has more benefits than drawbacks, while others think the opposite. In my opinion, things always have two sides, spends time in a crowded town is also. This essay will discuss both views before showing my viewpoint. Regarding advantages, urban life gives us many opportunities to access various services such as health care, high-quality tutoring, and entertainment. Citizens will have plenty of choices of education and employment. There are many schools, universities, and jobs with different professions in an urban city. Living in an energetic city makes people become more active and engage themselves in the busy life of the city. Entertain facilities like shopping malls, amusement parks, restaurants are also the services people can access when living in a busy town. On the other hand, there are still many problems people can have when having a busy city life. Transportation, pollution, or stress are some of the disadvantages. Traffic jams can be seen easily when traveling to work in peak hours, weekends, or on the holiday due to the number of vehicles on the road. Another issue is pollution in the city, smoke from the transports or garbages on the streets are the main causes of air polluting. The sound coming from vehicles and motor horns causing noise pollution in the city. Although having many choices to get to university or get a job, it also makes people feel stress competing with many other people to get a chance. From my point of view, I prefer living in an urban area because I’m an active person. However, sometimes, when I want to relax after a tiring day, it is hard to find a peaceful place in the city to lose stress. To conclude, there is no denying the fact that the benefits of living in a city are numerous, from public services, friends, healthcare, education, and employment prospects. Therefore, I accept that favorable circumstances of city life are actually at the upper edge to that of countryside areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
city has more benefits than drawbacks, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite. In my opinion, things always have two sides, spends time in a crowded town is
also
. This essay will discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
showing my viewpoint.

Regarding advantages, urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to access various services such as health care, high-quality tutoring, and entertainment. Citizens will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of choices of education and employment. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools, universities, and jobs with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions in an urban city.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in an energetic city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more active and engage themselves in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the city. Entertain facilities like shopping malls, amusement parks, restaurants are
also
the services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
town.

On the other hand
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have when having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Transportation, pollution, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
disadvantages. Traffic jams can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
easily
when traveling to work in peak hours, weekends, or on the holiday due to the number of vehicles on the road. Another issue is pollution in the city, smoke from the transports or
Possible spelling mistake found.
garbages on
the streets are the main causes of air polluting. The sound coming from vehicles and motor horns causing noise pollution in the city. Although having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to university or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
competing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance.

From my point of view, I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an urban area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I’m an active person.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, when I want to relax after a tiring day, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a peaceful place in the city to lose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To conclude
, there is no denying the fact that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a city are numerous, from public services, friends, healthcare, education, and employment prospects.
Therefore
, I accept that favorable circumstances of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are actually at the upper edge to that of countryside areas.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that living in a busy city has more benefits than drawbacks, while others think the opposite.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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