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In recent years, Smarphones should be banned at primary school has become a broad issue to the general public

In recent years, Smarphones should be banned at primary school has become a broad issue to the general public M3LNQ
In recent years, Smarphones should be banned at primary school has become a broad issue to the general public. Some people believe that smartphone should be banned at primary shool. However, others think that smartphone not should be banned at primary school. In my opinion, i agree with the former. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspective First and Foremost, people should recognize that smartphone should be banned at school. A very important point to consider is that using the smartphone will distract children. This means that smartphone today have many applications for playing games as well as entertaiment and that will make children lose focus with learning. Besides, Using mobile phones can be harmful to children’s eyes. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that, according to many recent studies, the eyes refractive error in many children due to early use of electricity. Another point I would like to make is that inequity in academic results. This is because of the fact that children use phones to look up answers in exams to cheat, which seriously affects children’s knowledge as well as fairness in the competition. On the other hand, there are several argument in support of the idea that not should be banned at primary school. It is also convincing to realize that cell phones also have a positive effect on learning. This means that children can expand their knowledge on mobile learning sites to enrich their knowledge not found in books In conclusion, the above mentioned facts have created a dilema when people evaluate the impact of this issue, and it is still a controversial issue. As far as i am concerned, i put more highlight on the idea that smartphone should be banned in the primary shool. People should have futher consideration on this issue.
In recent years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Smarphones
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has become a broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that smartphone should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that smartphone not should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspective

First
and Foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should recognize that smartphone should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider is that using the smartphone will distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This means that smartphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications for playing games
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertaiment
and that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lose focus with learning.
Besides
, Using mobile phones can be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
eyes. To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recent studies, the eyes refractive error in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electricity. Another point I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that inequity in academic results. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
phones to look up answers in exams to cheat, which
seriously
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
knowledge
as well
as fairness in the competition.

On the other hand
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun argument seems to be countable; consider using: "several arguments".
several argument
in support of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that not should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It is
also
convincing to realize that cell phones
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on learning. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can expand their knowledge on mobile learning sites to enrich their knowledge not found in books

In conclusion
, the above mentioned facts have created a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dilema
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
evaluate the impact of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, and it is
still
a controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. As far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am concerned
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
put more highlight on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that smartphone should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should have
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
consideration on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
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IELTS essay In recent years, Smarphones should be banned at primary school has become a broad issue to the general public

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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