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Some people believe that job should be related to our university major and some people not, discuss and tell your idea

Some people believe that job should be related to our university major and some people not, discuss and tell your idea awlMw
Nobody can deny that university major influence is important for our job, at least in cases which career need special knowledge. However, it is by no means clear that related studies help individuals to improve their work quality, as we will see. One the one hand, it may appear advisable for everybody to study university major that they want to work in that field. This allows people to learn and absorb knowledge which they can use in their future career. Furthermore, study the related field should reduce the risk of unemployment and insufficient income. On the other hand, we have to ask whether this is a practical proposition. In a society where many families are dual-income to pay the routine costs and university studies have a negative affect on an individual, family or both when it comes to university costs and time expenses. Actually, it is inevitable that many people can not access the university studies because their tight budget or they can not find proper and related job career in their living area. In many cases the career do not need long learning courses and good quality in work can be perfectly viable with short, practical and efficient courses. Equally, it seems that many people can in some cases learn a considerable amount from their colleagues without spending their life and wealth in studying may be a benefit. To conclude, it appears that, while related major is essential for some careers and there are definite advantages when you can study and work in the same field but there are some drawbacks such as investing large amounts of time and money needed, also, many skills could be possible through peer to peer learning in workplace or would be provided in short syllabus. Finally, almost there is not crucial to learn everything in the university.
Nobody can deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
major influence is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our job, at least in cases which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "needs".
need
special knowledge.
However
, it is by no means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
quality, as we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, it may appear advisable for everybody to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
major that they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in that field. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to learn and absorb knowledge which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
field should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of unemployment and insufficient income.

On the other hand
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ask whether this is a practical proposition. In a society where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are dual-income to pay the routine costs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on an individual, family or both when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
costs and time expenses. Actually, it is inevitable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their tight
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
budget or
they can not find proper and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in their living area. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
do not need long learning courses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be
perfectly
viable with short, practical and efficient courses.
Equally
, it seems that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases learn a considerable amount from their colleagues without spending their life and wealth in studying may be a benefit.

To conclude
, it appears that, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
major is essential for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
advantages when you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as investing large amounts of time and money needed,
also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
could be possible through peer to peer learning in workplace or would
be provided
in short syllabus.
Finally
, almost there is not crucial to learn everything in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that job should be related to our university major and some people not, discuss and tell your idea

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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