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Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates results in low art education.

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates results in low art education. DlwR6
The job markets today mainly hosts the jobs that need practical degree skills in nature, whereas jobs related to the philosophy and history are in significantly few numbers. Fore-mentioned job hunt situation has raised voices in public for the calls to cut art subjects in Universities and to replace them with practical degrees. The people are mainly raising their opinion against art subjects based on two factors which iare university fees and scarce employment. Lots of students who are not from privileged background will find difficulties in securing the money required for the university fees. The Banks today are more willing to give out student loans as it generated more interest in payback period, which in turn leads to accumulation of debts once they graduate from university. Although, the situation results in good business for banks, it doesn't produce the same results for students. Following the rise in university fees, comes the scarce employment opportunities for the art graduates. As the current generation moves towards the technological based lifestyle, the opposites of technical departments such as philosophy and history suffer a blow by it. Finally, once the student graduated, they will be in the mountains of debt and with no job in the near future. Overseeing all these facts, I can not simply agree to the cancellation of arts subjects in university, in favor of the technical subjects. Although, we live in modernized technical world, the philosophical ideas of our earlier generations and the lessons learnt from the history defines who we are as humans. Cancellations of these classes will indirectly create a situation that refuses the students to the knowledge of what makes us humans and our feelings. In conclusion, I would recommend reforms in university education where the students graduating with arts degree has to have some technical skills. In addition, with their default knowledge to give them self a chance in the job market. In contrast, the students from technical studies should also incorporate few arts subjects in their curriculum to give an insight of other side of the human life. I hope this reform will generate a more balanced curriculum in universities and schools.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
markets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
mainly
hosts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that need practical degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in nature, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
related to the philosophy and history are in
significantly
few numbers. Fore-mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hunt situation has raised voices in public for the calls to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
and to replace them with practical degrees.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mainly
raising their opinion against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
based on two factors which
Possible spelling mistake found.
iare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees and scarce employment. Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not from privileged background will find difficulties in securing the money required for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees. The Banks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more willing to give out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
loans as it generated more interest in payback period, which in turn leads to accumulation of debts once they graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Although, the situation results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
business for banks, it doesn't produce the same results for students.

Following the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fees,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the scarce employment opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
graduates. As the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
towards the technological based lifestyle, the opposites of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
departments such as philosophy and history suffer a blow by it.
Finally
, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
graduated, they will be in the mountains of debt and with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the near future.

Overseeing all these facts, I can not
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the cancellation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, in favor of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Although, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in modernized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
world, the philosophical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of our earlier generations and the lessons
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the history defines who we are as humans. Cancellations of these classes will
indirectly
create a situation that refuses the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to the knowledge of what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us humans and our feelings.

In conclusion
, I would recommend reforms in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
In addition
, with their default knowledge to give them self a chance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technical
studies should
also
incorporate few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in their curriculum to give an insight of other side of the human life. I hope this reform will generate a more balanced curriculum in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and schools.
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IELTS essay Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates results in low art education.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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