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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people believe that job satisfaction is more important than a high salary. Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

Some people believe that job satisfaction is more important than a high salary. Give reasons or examples to support your opinion. NyroW
Many people trust that job satisfaction is more vital than a high wage. I think a high salary is the most important thing when choosing a career. First of all, a high salary could improve personal life. This is mainly because getting more money can meet the high living standard in the big city. The high cost of living in a large city includes renting a house, traveling costs as well as paying the bills. For example, when I have a job with a high salary, I can buy a lot of things that are necessary for my life such as good foods, electronic devices and online courses. Besides, getting more money, people could invest in personal development. For example, with a good wage, people are able to register for online courses such as English courses, sports courses and personal finance courses that help them develop their career. Therefore, the personal life can be better if people have a high salary. Secondly, a high salary could improve others’s lives. What I mean is that earning more money could meet the needs of other members of the family. For example, the workers could take better care of their children and old parents. Furthermore, gaining a lot of money means that people pay more for taxes. For instance, the more taxes, the social development could be upgraded. Hence, the others’s life are able to be improved by high wages. In conclusion, I believe that a high salary plays an important role when choosing a job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trust that job satisfaction is more vital than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing when choosing a career.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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personal
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life
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
getting more
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money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
living standard in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
cost of living in a large city includes renting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, traveling costs
as well
as paying the bills.
For example
, when I have a job with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that are necessary for my
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life
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foods, electronic devices and online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Besides
, getting more
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money
,
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people
could invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
development.
For example
, with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to register for online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
such as English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop their career.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.

Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Did you mean "other’s" or "others’"?
others’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. What I mean is that earning more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of other members of the family.
For example
, the workers could take better care of their children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents.
Furthermore
, gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more for taxes.
For instance
, the more taxes, the social development could
be upgraded
.
Hence
, the
Did you mean "other’s" or "others’"?
others’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are able to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages.

In conclusion
, I believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role when choosing a job.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that job satisfaction is more important than a high salary. Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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