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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertainment and ecological important. Discuss both views. v.17

Some masses believe it is incorrect to keep animals in zoos, while others feel that there are advantages for both humans and animals. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider now. On the one hand, keeping animals in zoos and circus for human entertainment affects these mute creatures’ biological ecosystem and restrict their natural ability to search and hunt for food. Wild animals’ basic nature is to roam in the jungle and survive by hunting other animals to maintain the nature’s ecosystem. Moreover, they are not meant to be held in captivity, which adversely affects their natural ability such as hunting skills and forage. In addition, it impacts their behaviour and emotional bonding with other animals as they are confined and isolated from other animals. On the other hand, some individuals believe that keeping them in zoos will protect them from other animals and intact their race. Also, it is beneficial for humans to study these creatures for research purpose and use them for human entertainment purpose. Some endangered species such as white tiger and polar bear gets protected from extinction. Moreover, humans can perform experiments on these animals to invent alternative medicines to cure deadly diseases such as cancer and stroke. However, these are inhuman activities where animals suffer for sake of human survival. To conclude, I feel that animals should not be confined to cage and should get their freedom to live a natural life given by mother nature. Their survival depends on human activities and how they handle these wonderful creatures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses believe it is incorrect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos, while others feel that there are advantages for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos and circus for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
entertainment affects these mute creatures’ biological ecosystem and restrict their natural ability to search and hunt for food. Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
basic nature is to roam in the jungle and survive by hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to maintain the nature’s ecosystem.
Moreover
, they are not meant to
be held
in captivity, which
adversely
affects their natural ability such as hunting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and forage.
In addition
, it impacts their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
and emotional bonding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as they
are confined
and isolated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
animals.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that keeping them in zoos will protect them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and intact their race.
Also
, it is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to study these creatures for research purpose and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
entertainment purpose.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
endangered species such as white tiger and polar bear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
protected from extinction.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can perform experiments on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to invent alternative medicines to cure deadly diseases such as cancer and stroke.
However
, these are inhuman activities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
suffer for sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival.

To conclude
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be confined
to cage and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a natural life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by mother nature. Their survival depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities and how they handle these wonderful creatures.
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Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for the humans.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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