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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos. Why?

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos. Why? ldM2X
In this modern world, perspectives of how to keep animals are varied between people. Some people think about caging them in zoos or forests while others think it is illogical to limit animals’ movements. People have different views on animal welfare. To begin with, the trend of keeping animals in zoos has some drawbacks. The main drawback of these is that when they move to wildlife animals can lose their instinct to hunt or fight and this can have adverse effects on the animals. In addition, there are several organizations that focus on profit rather than animal welfare. For example, in order to attract more people and increase their profit, they try to catch rare animals and bring them in the cage. In conclusion, keeping animals in zoos is not correct, but it should be done in a suitable and scientific manner to bring the best benefits to people and animals.
In this modern world, perspectives of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are varied
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about caging them in zoos or forests while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is illogical to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
movements.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
welfare.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the trend of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. The main drawback of these is that when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can lose their instinct to hunt or fight and this can have adverse effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
In addition
, there are several organizations that focus on profit
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
welfare.
For example
, in order to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and increase their profit, they try to catch rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
The usual collocation for "bring" is "to" not "in" with. Did you mean "bring them to the cage"?
bring them in the cage
.

In conclusion
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is not correct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
be done
in a suitable and scientific manner to bring the best benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos. Why?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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