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Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. 7pMan
Nowadays, It is very common to celebrate birthdays, weddings and other ceremonies. Therefore, some people opine that spending a huge amount of money is important to celebrate a family celebration. whereas, there are some individual believe that it is a waste of money. I personally in favour of later view. This essay will examine both the points of view and then it is followed by my suggestive conclusion. On the one hand, there are several reasons why some group of people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations. Firstly, it is make a memorable day. When people arrange a celebration such as birthday parties, wedding and ceremonies then they organized a lot of facilities such as variety of dress code and different types of food arrengment. They click a lot of photos, make videos. Secondly, It is the main reason is the status symbol. Most of the rich people want to create a reputation in their society. They spend huge amount on arrangements and facilities like decorations, lighting and designer dresses just show to the lavish lifestyle. On the other hand, some believe that it is totally waste of money. There are some ordinary people who spend a significant amount of their wealth on special occusions, such as birthday parties and weddings but then they faced lot of problems and parties can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle. To illustrate, mony parties are suffering from diseases related to their digestion. In conclusion, After analyzing both the sides it can be seen that both view of points have their own merits, but I think that parties and celebrations are create a status of wealthiness. On second side it is lead to an unhealthy society.
Nowadays, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to celebrate birthdays, weddings and other ceremonies.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that spending a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to celebrate a family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "individuals"?
individual
believe that it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I
personally
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of later view. This essay will examine both the points of view and then it
is followed
by my suggestive conclusion.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a memorable day. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
arrange a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
such as birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
, wedding and ceremonies then they organized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities such as variety of dress code and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of food
Possible spelling mistake found.
arrengment
. They click
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
photos,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
videos.
Secondly
, It is the main reason is the status symbol. Most of the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to create a reputation in their society. They spend huge amount on arrangements and facilities like decorations, lighting and designer dresses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to the lavish lifestyle.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it is
totally
waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend a significant amount of their wealth on special
Possible spelling mistake found.
occusions
, such as birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and weddings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then they faced
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mony
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
are suffering from diseases related to their digestion.

In conclusion
, After analyzing both the sides it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both view of points have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are
Consider using a past participle here: "created".
create
a status of wealthiness. On second side it is lead to an unhealthy society.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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