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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have various views of providing data to do research in science, business as well as academic fields as opposed to do restriction to disclose the information. Obviously, our civilization needs news to progress. Nevertheless, all times people do not get information about those fields, people try their level best to discover by themselves. For example, a number of countries in the world hide a lot of information to public as they think, these will make problem in their national security. In addition, nowadays for nuclear research, people are really do not know any statement from those countries. By the way, it might make obstacle to give better education especially at university level. Moreover, for the world competition in the field of trade and commerce, many societies try to make secret their policy to other's. In addition, for rising invention sector, however, several countries not disclose their plan. However, sharing to others is somewhere dangerous or can bring negative impact, I think they should tell these datas to others. By the way, people will be more benefited in all the aspects. Besides, it will be a great help for our next generation. In contrast, sometimes a society is unable to do some outstanding but another society would be able to do this. Moreover, some countries has a number of resources, on the contrary they can not utilize them due to the fact of ignorant or lack of technology. In that sense, technologized country could be help to those countries as they have huge information related this. While, not to open the data to other has a number of benefits, on the contrary by sharing them can bring more significant improvement to academic, scientific and in the business world. In conclusion, giving data and information the others is a good practice for creating a tranquil and peaceful world. By the way, we will be abled to help each other throughout the universe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have various views of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to do research in science, business
as well
as academic fields as opposed to do restriction to disclose the information.

Obviously
, our civilization needs news to progress.
Nevertheless
, all times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about those fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try their level best to discover by themselves.
For example
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to public as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, these will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
problem in their national security.
In addition
, nowadays for nuclear research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
really
do not know any statement from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. By the way, it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
obstacle to give better education
especially
at university level.
Moreover
, for the world competition in the field of trade and commerce,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
secret their policy to other's.
In addition
, for rising invention sector,
however
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
not disclose their plan.

However
, sharing to others is somewhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
or can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
these
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
to others. By the way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more benefited in all the aspects.
Besides
, it will be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for our
next
generation.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a society is unable to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
outstanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another society would be able to do this.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has a number of resources,
on the contrary
they can not utilize them due to the fact of ignorant or lack of technology. In that sense, technologized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as they have huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related this.

While, not to open the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
has a number of benefits,
on the contrary
by sharing them can bring more significant improvement to academic, scientific and in the business world.

In conclusion
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
the others is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice for creating a tranquil and peaceful world. By the way, we will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
abled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
throughout the universe.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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