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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, diversity of explorations have been successfully researched by the scientists. Certain people suggest that a variety of scientific research should be allowed to share with distinct fields. Yet, someone strongly believe that the information of research are extremely valuable and significant and therefore those can not be shared. In my opinion, I strongly believe that most of the scientific research should be released. No one can deny that there are reasonable concerns from some people who reckon that some critical information can not be shared freely. Some valuable researches relate to the profit between the companies. Therefore, if share most of important information to the world, these companies will receive less of benefit from it and thus they will have no motivation to focus on researching. For example, many companies are doing research on medical. Yet, if one day they are enforced to shared all the achievement, companies will go bankrupt because of that. Meanwhile, it also lose balance of the society. As a result, certain valuable research can not be shared, it connects many individuals benefit. On the other hand, some people believe that multiple researches should be published to the public. Firstly, in the academic field, many researches are helpful to a large extent to stimulate countries education in order to nurture more and more people to improve human's quality of life. What I mean is that enhancing education can foster more young people to build the world to distinct fields such as medical and economic. Secondly, share with scientific researches and do more communications are the efficient way to reduce rate of death because they may explore the disease problems and certain pandemic will not confuse people as before. In conclusion, most information should be shared in the world. Although, some companies will lose a few profit because of that, it will develop human's life such as physical health and educations.
Nowadays, diversity of explorations have been
successfully
researched by the scientists. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that a variety of scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to share with distinct fields.
Yet
, someone
strongly
The pronoun ‘someone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “believes”, “believed”.
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
are
extremely
valuable and significant and
therefore
those can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that most of the scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should
be released
. No one can deny that there are reasonable concerns from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who reckon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
freely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
relate to the profit between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Therefore
, if share most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to the world, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will receive less of benefit from it and
thus
they will have no motivation to focus on researching.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on medical.
Yet
, if one day they
are enforced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
all the achievement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will go bankrupt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that. Meanwhile, it
also
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “loses”.
lose
balance of the society.
As a result
, certain valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
, it connects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals benefit.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
should
be published
to the public.
Firstly
, in the academic field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
are helpful to a large extent to stimulate countries education in order to nurture more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
human's quality of life. What I mean is that enhancing education can foster more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to build the world to distinct fields such as medical and economic.
Secondly
, share with scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
and do more communications are the efficient way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
rate of death
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may explore the disease problems and certain pandemic will not confuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In conclusion
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
in the world. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will lose a
Possible agreement error. The noun profit seems to be countable; consider using: “few profits”.
few profit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, it will develop human's life such as physical health and educations.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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