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sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is undeniable fact that there are many crimes occure worldwide by criminals. It is considered by some that giving education and job apprenticip to criminals are the best way instead of sending in prison. Ultimately, I extremely agree with this statement and some positive outcomes with my personal opinion in further paragraph. On the one hand, If government provide better education and job training to criminal, then they will change their mindset to build new habit in their life because they do not grow with better environment in which they can learn to survive. As a result, they live superior life with their family member again. For an example, in America 30 percent of criminals, who did crime in different ways have been changed like how to live life with their kith and kin due to providing better education, which is surveyed by International criminal court. Moreover, they will learn new skills such as formal communication, good personality and so on. Lastly, criminal can be transform their life through taking job training so they may capable to establish their own business. On the other hand, there is one way to teach them. Administration department should be constructed good education building near the prison. Consequetly, they would be transform their life into positive way. To illustrates, in Canada, which is developed nation, 40 percent of offender could be changed their life by taking good education by specialist faculties in law breaker school recently. Therefore, many parts of the world is excited through them. In conclusion, there is not only provide the best education but also giving knowledge and experience are the better way to deal with offender. however, schools should be added by foreign criminal court for prisoner.
Nowadays, it is undeniable fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
occure
worldwide by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and job
Possible spelling mistake found.
apprenticip
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are the best way
instead
of sending in prison.
Ultimately
, I
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes with my personal opinion in
further
paragraph.

On the one hand, If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and job training to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mindset to build new habit in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not grow with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
environment in which they can learn to survive.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their family member again. For an example, in America 30 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, who did crime in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
like how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their kith and kin due to providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which
is surveyed
by International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
court.
Moreover
, they will learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as formal communication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
can be
Consider using either the past participle “transformed” or the present participle “transforming” here.
transform
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
through taking job training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
may capable
to establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

On the other hand
, there is one way to teach them. Administration department should
be constructed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
building near the prison.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Consequetly
, they would be
Consider using either the past participle “transformed” or the present participle “transforming” here.
transform
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way. To illustrates, in Canada, which
is developed
nation, 40 percent of offender could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
by taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by specialist faculties in
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
law breaker
school recently.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world
is excited
through them.

In conclusion
, there is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
giving knowledge and experience are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way to deal with offender.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
however
, schools should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
by foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
court for prisoner.
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IELTS essay sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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