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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In many nations around the world, declining health and a lack of fitness are becoming very common among people. There are a number of causes of this, but certain measures could be taken to alleviate this problem. There are several causes of this situation. The main one is that technological advancements have resulted in a sedentary lifestyle. Because of the prevalent use of computers and vehicles, it is no longer necessary to move around much. This leads to people becoming overweight, which also adversely affects their health and fitness. In addition, people are consuming more unhealthy processed food nowadays. For example, fast food, junk food and processed canned food have become extremely popular due to people’s chronic busyness. Such food results in a lot of health problems if it is consumed in large quantities. Various possible courses of action could be taken in order to tackle the above. In the first place, the government could launch a nationwide campaign to raise awareness about the importance of eating healthily and exercising. For instance, advertisements by the ministry of health about the dangers of eating junk food and not exercising should be regularly shown on television and the internet. Another way forward could be for schools to prohibit unhealthy food from being sold in schools. If schools start to ban too much fried food or food that is high in sugar and salt, students will be forced to eat a more balanced and healthy diet at school. The result is that health would improve dramatically. In conclusion, various factors have led to problems related to health and fitness, but this situation could be addressed by the launch of a health and fitness campaign and the implementation of effective regulations to limit the sale of unhealthy food in schools. Given this situation, it is recommended that steps should be taken immediately in order to ensure that the health and fitness of the people in the country improves.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations around the world, declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very


common among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are a number of causes of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
certain measures could
be taken
to alleviate this problem.

There are several causes of this situation. The main one is that technological advancements

have resulted in a sedentary lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the prevalent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and vehicles,

it is no longer necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around much. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming overweight,

which
also
adversely
affects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming more

unhealthy processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
nowadays.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and processed canned

food have become
extremely
popular due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
chronic busyness. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
results in a

lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems if it
is consumed
in large quantities.

Various possible courses of action could
be taken
in order to tackle the above. In the
first


place, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could launch a nationwide campaign to raise awareness about the

importance of eating
healthily
and exercising.
For instance
, advertisements by the ministry of

health about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of eating junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and not exercising should be
regularly
shown on

television and the internet. Another way forward could be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to prohibit unhealthy

food from
being sold
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to ban too much fried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that is


high in sugar and salt, students will
be forced
to eat a more balanced and healthy diet at

school. The result is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
dramatically
.

In conclusion
, various factors have led to problems related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this

situation could
be addressed
by the launch of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
campaign and the

implementation of effective regulations to limit the sale of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given


this situation, it
is recommended
that steps should
be taken
immediately in order to ensure

that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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