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Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of the crime, while others think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Crime rates are on the rise around the globe. In the viewpoint of some people, the authorities should allocate a larger part of the budget to curb the causes of the felonies, while others believe that it should be used to implement stricter punishments. This essay will analyze both the views and provide a logical conclusion. I however, side with the former argument. On the one hand, the advocates of utilizing money to discard the major reasons of crimes say that, the majority of the wrongdoings are due to poverty, unemployment and social inequality. To cite an example, a recent study has found that numerous petty crimes such as theft, pick pocketing and shoplifting are committed by the criminals to fulfil their basic needs such as food or clothing. Additionally, the huge gap between the rich and the poor classes of the society, also encourages the lawbreakers to get involved in the illegal acts,  in order to access the privileges like fashionable outfits, branded shoes and expensive cars, that only the wealthy can afford. Therefore, if the state creates employment opportunities for the jobless citizens as well as invests in infrastructure facilities such as schools, public transports and roads, which can uplift their standards of living, it can decrease the number of crimes. On the other hand, opponents of the above idea, are of the thought that dollars should be used to hire more law officers and judges, which could help deliver timely justice. For instance, with enough law enforcers, cases pertaining to heinous acts like rape and murder can be fast tracked and the offenders can be punished quickly so as to instill fear, in the minds of the anti-social. Moreover, if a higher number of cops are distributed throughout the region appropriately, the number of felonies can significantly go down. To illustrate it, numerous cities in India have seen a decrease in crime rates, after the authorities doubled the policemen in each area. To conclude, it can be said that, allotting huge amounts of money to eliminate the reasons for crime, is the best approach as it ensures the safety of the citizens, while curbing unemployment and poverty. So, I firmly reiterate my view that the government should focus on removing the factors that motivate the individuals to commit felonies.
Crime
rates are on the rise around the globe. In the viewpoint of
some
people
, the authorities should allocate a larger part of the budget to curb the causes of the felonies, while others believe that it should be
used
to implement stricter punishments. This essay will analyze both the views and provide a logical conclusion. I
however
, side with the former argument.

On the one hand, the advocates of utilizing money to discard the major reasons of
crimes
say that, the majority of the wrongdoings are due to poverty, unemployment and social inequality. To cite an example, a recent study has found that numerous petty
crimes
such as theft, pick pocketing and shoplifting
are committed
by the criminals to fulfil their basic needs such as food or clothing.
Additionally
, the huge gap between the rich and the poor classes of the society,
also
encourages the lawbreakers to
get
involved in the illegal acts,
 
in order to access the privileges like fashionable outfits, branded shoes and expensive cars, that
only
the wealthy can afford.
Therefore
, if the state creates employment opportunities for the jobless citizens
as well
as invests in infrastructure facilities such as schools, public transports and roads, which can uplift their standards of living, it can decrease the number of crimes.

On the other hand
, opponents of the above
idea
, are of the
thought
that dollars should be
used
to hire more law officers and judges, which could
help
deliver timely justice.
For instance
, with
enough
law enforcers, cases pertaining to heinous acts like rape and murder can be
fast
tracked
and the offenders can
be punished
quickly
so as to
instill fear, in the minds of the anti-social.
Moreover
, if a higher number of cops
are distributed
throughout the region
appropriately
, the number of felonies can
significantly
go down. To illustrate it, numerous cities in India have
seen
a decrease in
crime
rates, after the authorities doubled the policemen in each area.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that, allotting huge amounts of money to eliminate the reasons for
crime
, is the best approach as it ensures the safety of the citizens, while curbing unemployment and poverty.
So
, I
firmly
reiterate my view that the
government
should focus on removing the factors that motivate the individuals to commit felonies.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of the crime, while others think that the government should spend more on punishment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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