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some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Other say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves in their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A number of people believe that father and mother ought to influence their children to do same activity with an organized group in their lazier time. However, some believe that children should spend their time in their own away. Since both point of view has some advantages and disadvantages so I will discuss both point of view and give my own opinion. On the one hand, group activity is a great way to develop children brain and body. If children join any organized group then children will learn many good habits, which are really great for their future life. For example, in group activities children can learn cooperativeness, helpful, and different useful skills. When children attend any organized group then they always under some of experienced supervisor who teach them various different activities. Also, sometime parents unable to give time to their children so group activity can be the good alternative for those children. On the other hand, if children spend their lazier time in their own away, they can do many different activities which are develop their intellectual thinking. For example, when children’s friend can’t spend time with them then children can spend time to read book or painting so they can gather lots of knowledge. However, it is rarely possible to do something good by children. Every child needs some instruction to do something, at time point if parents can’t spend time with them then children can watch TV or play video game, which is impact bad effect to them. In conclusion, although spend time in their own away have some advantages but it has some risk that children can spend their time in wrong way. So, if it is possible that children can join any organized group then it will not only develop their brain and body, but also it helps their future life successful.
A number of
people
believe that father and mother ought to influence their
children
to do same
activity
with an
organized
group
in their lazier
time
.
However
,
some
believe that
children
should
spend
their
time
in their
own
away. Since both point of view has
some
advantages and disadvantages
so
I will discuss both point of view and give my
own
opinion.

On the one hand,
group
activity
is a great way to develop
children
brain and body. If
children
join
any
organized
group
then
children
will learn
many
good
habits, which are
really
great for their future life.
For example
, in
group
activities
children
can learn cooperativeness, helpful, and
different
useful
skills
.
When
children
attend any
organized
group
then they always under
some
of experienced supervisor who teach them various
different
activities
.
Also
, sometime parents unable to give
time
to their
children
so
group
activity
can be the
good
alternative for those children.

On the other hand
, if
children
spend
their lazier
time
in their
own
away, they can do
many
different
activities
which are
develop
their intellectual thinking.
For example
, when
children’s
friend can’t
spend
time
with them then
children
can
spend
time
to read book or painting
so
they can gather lots of knowledge.
However
, it is rarely possible to do something
good
by
children
. Every child needs
some
instruction to do something, at
time
point if parents can’t
spend
time
with them then
children
can
watch
TV or play video game, which is impact
bad
effect to them.

In conclusion
, although
spend
time
in their
own
away have
some
advantages
but
it has
some
risk
that
children
can
spend
their
time
in
wrong
way.
So
, if it is possible that
children
can
join
any
organized
group
then it will not
only
develop their brain and body,
but
also
it
helps
their future life successful.
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IELTS essay some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Other say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves in their own.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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