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The diagrams below show the design of a wind turbine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparison where relevant. v.1

The diagrams below show the design of a wind turbine and its location.
A large number of criminals leave the prison, only to offend. This is mainly because of lack of rehabilitation programmes and also lack of employment opportunities for them after completing their jail term. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to curb this issue. Firstly, one of the major reasons for most first-time offenders to carry out crimes again, is the lack of rehabilitation programmes for them whilst behind bars. They are not given the opportunity to learn new skills or develop the ones they have. In other words, instead of developing their moral and technical skills, they are more involved with other criminals and this would only take them deeper into the world of crime. Secondly, when they are released, they have issues with employment because they are stigmatised. Take for instance, the case of a sex offender, they are obligated to write their past crime in their resume so they will mostly never fit into the job market. Some effective steps that can be taken to solve this, is by ensuring they develop useful skills while they are serving time. They most be involved in different quality activities that will assist them so that they are useful to the society when they get out. Also, they should be better monitored by officers when they get back into the community. They should not be left alone as that may give room for repeat crimes. In conclusion, having trained while in prison and close observation for the first few months will ensure the crimes do not reoccur.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the prison,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to offend. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and
also
lack of employment opportunities for them after completing their jail term. There are a number of solutions which should
be implemented
to curb this issue.

Firstly
, one of the major reasons for most
first
-time offenders to carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again, is the lack of rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for them whilst behind bars. They are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or develop the ones they have.
In other words
,
instead
of developing their moral and technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they are more involved with other criminals and this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take them deeper into the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Secondly
, when they
are released
, they have issues with employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
Possible spelling mistake. 'stigmatised' is British English.
stigmatised
. Take
for instance
, the case of a sex offender, they
are obligated
to write their past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in their resume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
mostly
never fit into the job market.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
effective steps that can
be taken
to solve this, is by ensuring they develop useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
while they are serving time. They
Did you mean "must" ("have to", modal verb) or "mostly" ("mainly", adverb)?
most
be involved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
quality activities that will assist them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are useful to the society when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out.
Also
, they should be better monitored by officers when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back into the community. They should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone as that may give room for repeat crimes.

In conclusion
, having trained while in prison and close observation for the
first
few months will ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
do not reoccur.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay The diagrams below show the design of a wind turbine and its location.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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