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Some People Believe That Instead Of Renovating Old Buildings, The Government Should Build New Infrastructure.

Some People Believe That Instead Of Renovating Old Buildings, The Government Should Build New Infrastructure. YB03V
it is undeniable that old buildings are the main sources to introducing New generations with our history or culture and tradition. Some people claim that administration should invest more funds for new housing and road development rather than to the renovation of old building. According to my opinion both aspects are essential to human beings so I partially agree with the given statement. to embark with there are various attributes related to that legislative can spend money on monuments. As every year there are a number of visitors visit to to these buildings and they buy ticket and along with this they pay for accommodation in which leads economic benefit for particular country. Apart from that these monuments provide deep history about specific country so it's easy for public to know about their history and famous personality. For instance the Eiffel Tower of Paris is an old building and constructors renovated that Tower now it is a big source of income for Paris. furthermore there are other aspects that are also important like New Housing and road development as with the new roadline individuals can move one place to another easily that will secure them from accidental risk. Along with this they can save their precious time in addition government can build new Health Care Centres and school for poor people because good students are nation builders. Inconclusion the monuments are the source of knowledge as well as income but new housing and new Road Lines are also important for nation so administration can maintain balance towards the budget spending on these aspects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are the main sources to introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
generations with our history or culture and tradition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that administration should invest more funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
housing and road development
rather
than to the renovation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. According to my opinion both aspects are essential to human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
embark with there are various attributes related to that legislative can spend money on monuments. As every year there are a number of visitors visit
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
buildings and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ticket and along with this they pay for accommodation in which leads economic benefit for particular country. Apart from that these monuments provide deep history about specific country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's easy for public to know about their history and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personality.
For instance
the Eiffel Tower of Paris is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and constructors renovated that Tower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
source of income for Paris.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
furthermore
there are other aspects that are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Housing and road development as with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
roadline
individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
one place to another
easily
that will secure them from accidental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Along with this they can save their precious time
in addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Health Care
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centres' is British English.
Centres
and school for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
students are nation builders.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Inconclusion
the monuments are the source of knowledge
as well
as income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
housing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Road Lines are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
administration can maintain balance towards the budget spending on these aspects.
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IELTS essay Some People Believe That Instead Of Renovating Old Buildings, The Government Should Build New Infrastructure.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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