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some people believe that in order to improve driving standards, some drivers should take safety road courses while some opine that giving sever punishments is better. discuss both of this opinion and give out your opinion about it

some people believe that in order to improve driving standards, some drivers should take safety road courses while some opine that giving sever punishments is better. discuss both of this opinion and give out your opinion about it VypqO
The main concern of the government and the local community is the high rate of mortality from car accidents which endanger many citizens’ lives. With this in mind, two major schemes have been recommended. While many opine that car users should participate in safety road courses, others opt for the punishment platform to be more efficient in preventing drivers from going against traffic rules. In my opinion, while getting fined can have some inherent advantages, making time to spend in safety road classes again may seem a little boring for individuals. As many car users may get their driving license ages ago, taking part in safe driving courses can help them to be up to date about new highway codes. Additionally, taking these courses with other drivers can inspire individuals to respect traffic rules and drive better through the city. However, as many of them partake in these types of classes once before, it may look boring for them and consequently, they quit after a while. More importantly, this kind of setup is not severe enough for people to stop violating road regulations. As a result, they may repeat the same crime again. On the flip side, punishing drivers appears to be more efficient since these penalties put drivers in more disadvantages and that’s because in most cases they should be compensated with a large sum of money therefore this is quite pricey for car users. This fact itself can contribute to so many different benefits. Firstly, the drivers will pay more attention to their road behaviors compared to the past and as a result, traffic jams will fall down and less fuel will be consumed which can lead to less greenhouse gas production rate. Lastly, earning money in this way can be beneficial to governments and local communities as they can expend it in improving other road systems such as traffic light systems and safety road signs. To conclude, after analyzing both sides of viewpoints, it is not hard to see that punishing drivers have some unavoidable advantages over taking safety road courses, however, local authorities should keep in mind that giving penalties and monitoring drivers should be fair and in regards to city rules.
The main concern of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the local community is the high rate of mortality from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents which endanger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. With this in mind, two major schemes have
been recommended
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users should participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, others opt for the punishment platform to be more efficient in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
from going against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. In my opinion, while getting fined can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inherent advantages, making time to spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
classes again may seem a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boring for individuals.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their driving license ages ago, taking part in safe driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be up to date about new highway codes.
Additionally
, taking these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
can inspire individuals to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and drive better through the city.
However
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them partake in these types of classes once
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, it may look boring for them and
consequently
, they quit after a while. More
importantly
, this kind of setup is not severe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
violating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
regulations.
As a result
, they may repeat the same crime again.

On the flip side, punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
appears to be more efficient since these penalties put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
in more disadvantages and that’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in most cases
they should
be compensated
with a large sum of money
therefore
this is quite pricey for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
users. This fact itself can contribute to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
will pay more attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
behaviors compared to the past and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams will fall down and less fuel will
be consumed
which can lead to less greenhouse gas production rate.
Lastly
, earning money in this way can be beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and local communities as they can expend it in improving other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
systems such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
light systems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
signs.

To conclude
, after analyzing both sides of viewpoints, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unavoidable advantages over taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
,
however
, local authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that giving penalties and monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
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IELTS essay some people believe that in order to improve driving standards, some drivers should take safety road courses while some opine that giving sever punishments is better. discuss both of this opinion and give out your opinion about it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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