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Some people believe that holidays are necessary for students, others think that children should not have holidays because it is just a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that holidays are necessary for students, others think that children should not have holidays because it is just a waste of time. BglA9
Holiday is a day or few days of from everyday routine People believes that holiday are necessary for student to relax and have fun and some believe holiday are not necessarily because it is wasting of time Firstly people who works or student who study having weekend is better for them because they can relax for instance at home drinking hot chocolate and watch a movie or having gathering with family or go out with friend and some people they just sleep some parents believes that the student in general they have to waste time and have fun because most of the time its spent trying to finish homework and the assessment holiday also helps you to get your energy for studying or working day ahead to join the school or work positive and in happy mood In the other hand number of people who thing holiday are not important because they are just wasting of time, since a student just be lazy and doing nothing some people believes that the student must have one long vacation and number of people see that no need for and its enough to have one several short vacation through the year At the end holiday are the most love and importance event in person life clearly that all we all love weekend and vacation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Holiday
is a day or few days of from everyday routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to relax and have fun and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
are not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is wasting of time

Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
works
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who study having weekend is better for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can relax
for instance
at home drinking hot chocolate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie or having gathering with family or go out with friend and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in general
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste time and have fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the time its spent trying to finish homework and the assessment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your energy for studying or working day ahead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the school or work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and in happy mood

In the other hand number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a thing".
who thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting of time, since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be lazy and doing nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have one long vacation and number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that no need for and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have one several short vacation through the year

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
are the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and importance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in person life
clearly
that all we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
weekend and vacation
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IELTS essay Some people believe that holidays are necessary for students, others think that children should not have holidays because it is just a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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