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some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.8

some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v. 8
It is irrefutable that more people are moving to the urban areas nowadays. Some people believe that the movement of the population to the bigger cities has left only senior citizens in the rural. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and suggest some solution. The most significant advantage of the metro city is the opportunity. Developed places have an advantage of the better lifestyle and the growth opportunity for skilled people. For instance, an IT professional has a better chance of getting into a better position by staying in capitalised place than in an under developed village. It is because, the government has not provided sufficient infrastructure for the companies to settle other than a few places. Therefore, the individual's are left with no choice, other than to leave their hometown. As a result, even if a company is interested in moving out of a metro city, has no option to relocate. On the other hand, India is an agriculture centred country, a lot of countries rely on India for grains. In recent years, there has been a downfall in the growth of grains. For example, as per the reports, India's total export has declined by 7%, which is a big loss for India. It is because, the farmers are not equipped with the right equipments and good agriculture Universities to support the growing needs of the farmers. The solution for this is building a few agriculture related Universites, also providing machineries to the farmers. As a result, the following generation would be more interested in staying in a rural area and would take up farming as a profession. In conclusion, whereas a lot of migration is happening from rural to urban areas. In my opinion, it is the authority's responsibility to think about the countryside as well, and invest in their infrastructure and the education sector.
It is irrefutable that more
people
are moving to the urban areas nowadays.
Some
people
believe that the movement of the population to the bigger cities has
left
only
senior citizens in the rural. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and suggest
some
solution.

The most significant advantage of the metro city is the opportunity. Developed places have an advantage of the better lifestyle and the growth opportunity for skilled
people
.
For instance
, an IT professional has a better chance of getting into a better position by staying in
capitalised
place than in an under developed village. It is
because
, the
government
has not provided sufficient infrastructure for the
companies
to settle other than a few places.
Therefore
, the
individual's
are
left
with no choice, other than to
leave
their hometown.
As a result
, even if a
company
is interested
in moving out of a metro city, has no option to relocate.

On the other hand
, India is an agriculture
centred
country,
a lot of
countries rely on India for grains. In recent years, there has been a downfall in the growth of grains.
For example
, as per the reports, India's total export has declined by 7%, which is a
big
loss for India. It is
because
, the farmers are not equipped with the right equipments and
good
agriculture Universities to support the growing needs of the farmers. The solution for this is building a
few agriculture
related
Universites
,
also
providing
machineries
to the farmers.
As a result
, the following generation would be more interested in staying in a rural area and would take up farming as a profession.

In conclusion
, whereas
a lot of
migration is happening from rural to urban areas. In my opinion, it is the authority's responsibility to
think
about the countryside
as well
, and invest in their infrastructure and the education sector.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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