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Some people believe that government Should Spend money on creative people like artists magicians.To what extent do you agree with this statement.

Some people believe that government Should Spend money on creative people like artists magicians. gx8p3
Government play an indispensable role to make a country better place. It is consider by some administration ought to spend money on creative people such as artists or entertainers, but I argue with this statement because their are numerous things to focus for the development of country To comment with, the government focus on education system of the country, because education plays a major role to the country at the zenith point of development in country. So, spending money on establishing school assist to increase literacy rate as well as education facilities an infrastructure. Moreover, authorities can help the sports players by spending money to maintain the sport complex and provide funds to them to take part in international competition to enlighten the name of the country. In addition, healthcare is one of the vital issue among the all nation. So it’s the responsibility of the government to establish the healthcare or the hospital, Because it’s Ordeal for the poor people to take healthcare facilities from the private hospital as it charge huge amount of money which normal people can’t afford. Nevertheless, a government can also spend some amount of money on the creative people because they also do dint of hard work to show their creativityAs they choose that profession for their better carrier. To conclude, after analysing the whole concern what I have reckon that government should focus on the development of the transportation hospital and educational facilities because that are the basic need of every individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
an indispensable role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
better place. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
administration ought to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as artists or entertainers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I argue with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "there"?
their
are numerous things to focus for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
To comment with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
focus on education system of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
education plays a major role to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
at the zenith point of development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on establishing school assist to increase literacy rate
as well
as education facilities an infrastructure.
Moreover
, authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the sports players by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to maintain the sport complex and provide funds to them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in international competition to enlighten the name of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
, healthcare is one of the vital issue among the all nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it’s the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to establish the healthcare or the hospital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it’s Ordeal for the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take healthcare facilities from the private hospital as it charge huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t afford.
Nevertheless
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
also
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
do dint of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativityAs
they choose that profession for their better carrier.
To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the whole concern what I have
Use past participle here: "reckoned".
reckon
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus on the development of the transportation hospital and educational facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that are the basic need of every individual.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that government Should Spend money on creative people like artists magicians.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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