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more and more people are becoming interesting in finding out about the history of the house

more and more people are becoming interesting in finding out about the history of the house 7WKJ5
Recently, a lot of people in several countries tend to be more curious about knowing historical backgrounds about their home living. The social media exposures can be the most contributor to their curiosity for it, afterward, they will try to get some help from the elderly or the particular person in the neighborhood. First of all, social media successfully influences their user to make it as media for self-actualization. People try to make unique content for their audience on this platform, so they will engage with the stories and they will follow the content creator as well. It can be seen on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The users of these applications compete to attract the attention of other users with different stories, such as history, horror, adventure, even silly content. Consequently, people will ask the elderly or public figures in the surrounding area about the home backgrounds. It will be the most affordable effort for them to satisfy their craving. For instance, young people will come into the omniscient people in their area and interview them. Perhaps, they will collect data for the important events, the significant person for the previous owner, etc. Considering the distinctive information that they will share on social media. To conclude, it is true that advanced technology is able to encourage people for being creative or skeptical, searching for their home backgrounds as an example. The ultimate goal is for their existencies through their social media. As a result, they are going to seek the information deeper and deeper from the well-known person or the elderly in their surrounding places.
Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in several countries tend to be more curious about knowing historical backgrounds about their home living. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
exposures can be the most contributor to their curiosity for it, afterward, they will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the elderly or the particular person in the neighborhood.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
successfully
influences their user to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
for self-actualization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unique content for their audience on this platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will engage with the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stories and
they will follow the content creator
as well
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The users of these applications compete to attract the attention of other users with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stories, such as history, horror, adventure, even silly content.

Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will ask the elderly or public figures in the surrounding area about the home backgrounds. It will be the most affordable effort for them to satisfy their craving.
For instance
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the omniscient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their area and interview them. Perhaps, they will collect data for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, the significant person for the previous owner, etc. Considering the distinctive information that they will share on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

To conclude
, it is true that advanced technology is able to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for being creative or skeptical, searching for their home backgrounds as an example. The ultimate goal is for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
existencies
through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
As a result
, they are going to seek the information deeper and deeper from the well-known person or the elderly in their surrounding places.
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IELTS essay more and more people are becoming interesting in finding out about the history of the house

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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