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Some people believe that Government should not spent money on preserving artifacts and museum that our culture, but father focus on promoting and enchanting public services such as transportation, water supply, electricity supply etc. Do you agree or disagree with the opinion?

Some people believe that Government should not spent money on preserving artifacts and museum that our culture, but father focus on promoting and enchanting public services such as transportation, water supply, electricity supply etc. with the opinion? LbM7p
It is considerad that Government not spent sufficiently money for protecting artifacts and museum that shows our culture. In the contrary, attention on more provide promoting and enchancing public services. As an instance to that, transportation, satar supply, electricity supply and other services. In this essay, I will examine this situation. Absolutely, disagree and I am support this my opinion with examples. First of all, human's activity of keeping priority than other things because of that most important forgeting, artifacts and these products displaying in the museum. In fact, öne of the part in our life both artifacts and another arts. Thats why, I think better preserving these areas and spent more money. Consequently, I think the governments adequate spent money. Moreover, these areas and artifacts essentially reflect of our culture, our history and at the same time lead to our future. For reason, necessary attention shows goverment. Secondly main reason, artifacts and museum most important areas for education. Thus, children entertainment learn of art. Some of, gradually develop and the best will be artificer in the future countries need to art for develop. This situation, relate most leader say sentence. For instance, Turkis big leader Mustafa Kemal Atatürk said " One of the nation stayed far away arts like break off one vein". That's why I think government should not spend money on preserving artifacts and museum, and this situation must be changed. In conclusion same give attention both promoting and enchancing public services and artifacts.
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
considerad
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
not spent
sufficiently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
our culture. In the contrary, attention on more provide promoting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enchancing
public services. As an instance to that, transportation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
satar
supply, electricity supply and other services. In this essay, I will examine this situation.
Absolutely
,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disagree and
I am support this my opinion with examples.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, human's activity of keeping priority than other things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
forgeting
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
and these products displaying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. In fact,
Possible spelling mistake found.
öne
of the part in our life both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
and another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Possible spelling mistake found
Thats
why, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
better preserving these areas and spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Consequently
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
adequate spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, these areas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
essentially
reflect of our culture, our history and at the same time lead to our future. For reason, necessary attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
.
Secondly
main reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
areas for education.
Thus
, children entertainment learn of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of,
gradually
develop and the best will be artificer in the future countries need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
for develop. This situation, relate most leader say sentence.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Turkis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
leader Mustafa
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kemal
Possible spelling mistake found.
Atatürk
said
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
One of the nation stayed far away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
like break off one vein
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. That's why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, and this situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
In conclusion
same give attention both promoting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enchancing
public services and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artifacts
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that Government should not spent money on preserving artifacts and museum that our culture, but father focus on promoting and enchanting public services such as transportation, water supply, electricity supply etc. with the opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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