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Some parents think their children should spend more of their studying time on physical activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think their children should spend more of their studying time on physical activities. pKpWD
The role of sports activities in life events. Therefore, many people think that parents should advise their children to participate in more sports activities instead of spending more time studying. Obviously, this view is positive and it will also help the children's future development. On the one hand, having a healthy body is the basis for doing anything. Firstly, physical activities provide people with more opportunities to become healthy. Only when the body becomes healthy can children be able to engage in learning in a better state, which has obvious benefits to children's growth. Secondly, physical activity will make children become more self-disciplined, because physical training requires strict schedules and healthy eating arrangements. Over time, this will further promote children's learning habits. Thirdly, physical activities can also improve children’s happiness. Many children are under school pressure. Sports such as football, basketball and swimming are good ways to vent. These sports can not only reduce their school pressure, but also improve their motor skills. On the other hand, group sports activities can promote children’s interpersonal skills. When children play with other team members, they will have more opportunities to interact with members of different personalities. It can also cultivate a lot of children’s skills. For the smooth progress of the game, players need active communication and active cooperation, improving their ability to cooperate. At the same time, it can also cultivate people's interpersonal skills. Many times in a team, young team members can learn from the experienced team members. In the process of communication, each other can learn skills and methods. At the same time, they can also make more friends and improve the team’s performance. Therefore, team sports are a good opportunity for mutual learning and mutual benefit. In conclusion, by participating in more sports activities, children can exercise their physical strength and prepare for further studies and cultivate teamwork spirit.
The role of
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sports
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activities
in life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Therefore
,
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that parents should advise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
instead
of spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying.
Obviously
, this view is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the children's future development.

On the one hand, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body is the basis for doing anything.
Firstly
,
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with more opportunities to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when the body becomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be able to engage in learning in a better state, which has obvious benefits to children's growth.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more self-disciplined,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training requires strict schedules and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating arrangements. Over
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time
, this will
further
promote children's learning habits.
Thirdly
,
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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children’s
happiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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children
are under school pressure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
such as football, basketball and swimming are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways to vent. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their school pressure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, group
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, they will have more opportunities to interact with
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members
of
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different
personalities. It can
also
cultivate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. For the smooth progress of the game, players need active communication and active cooperation, improving their ability to cooperate. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it can
also
cultivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, young
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team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
can learn from the experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. In the process of communication, each other can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and methods. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team’s
performance.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for mutual learning and mutual benefit.

In conclusion
, by participating in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can exercise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength and prepare for
further
studies and cultivate teamwork spirit.
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IELTS essay Some parents think their children should spend more of their studying time on physical activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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