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Some people believe that government should not spend too much money on space exploration. Do you agree or Disagree? v.1

Some people believe that government should not spend too much money on space exploration. v. 1
Science and technology in the modern world have crossed its boundaries and has reached space to discover some interesting yet unbelievable facts about the space outside the planet Earth. Though some people often argued that this is a waste of time and money, it might contribute to alternatives to the problems we are facing on Earth today. In my opinion, governments should encourage scientists who are coming up with space concepts that can benefit us in the future. Space exploration has already provided us with advantages like usage of satellites and its navigation, which brought a tremendous change in the advancement of technology. First and foremost, Space techniques like remote sensing data has always helped in understanding the theories of water cycle and detecting the underground resources, analysing the feasibility of life in different regions, climate effects and many more. Secondly, the existence of life on Mars and discovery of certain factors of the moon might lead to potential solutions for our urban problems. However, on the other side, there are many more severe problems the countries are facing like Unemployments, scarcity of basic needs like food, drinking water and basic educatuon and health facilities. Even though space explorations take us forward in the field of science and innovation, this is not going to solve the current problems that are essential to provide a minimum standard of life to the majority of the people. Space exploration is undoubtedly expensive, that includes billions of dollars, which can provide numerous facilities to the public. Therefore, Governmnets should prioritise the needs and requirements of the people first and encouraging the scientists with their research should be secondary based on the potential outcomes. To sum up, there is a clear visibility of tremendous growth of research in science because of the space exploration, however, there are more important problems on a larger scale which the government needs to focus. In reference to that, I believe that spending immense money on space study is relatively a waste of money.
Science and technology in the modern world have crossed its boundaries and has reached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
to discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interesting
yet
unbelievable facts about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
outside the planet Earth. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that this is a waste of time and money, it might contribute to alternatives to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
we are facing on Earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should encourage scientists who are coming up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
concepts that can benefit us in the future.

Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
has already provided us with advantages like usage of satellites and its navigation, which brought a tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the advancement of technology.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
techniques like remote sensing data has always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in understanding the theories of water cycle and detecting the underground resources,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the feasibility of life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions, climate effects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Secondly
, the existence of life on Mars and discovery of certain factors of the moon might lead to potential solutions for our urban problems.

However
, on the other side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
the countries are facing like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Unemployments
, scarcity of basic needs like food, drinking water and basic
Possible spelling mistake found.
educatuon
and health facilities.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explorations
take us forward in the field of science and innovation, this is not going to solve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that are essential to provide a minimum standard of life to the majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is
undoubtedly
expensive, that includes billions of dollars, which can provide numerous facilities to the public.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Governmnets
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the needs and requirements of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
first
and encouraging the scientists with their research should be secondary based on the potential outcomes.

To sum up, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
visibility of tremendous growth of research in science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
,
however
, there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
on a larger scale which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to focus. In reference to that, I believe that spending immense money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
study is
relatively
a waste of money.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that government should not spend too much money on space exploration. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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