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Some people believe that government should help unemployed or just laid off from work on weekly basis. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that government should help unemployed or just laid off from work on weekly basis. m9QJd
It is often argued that regime ought to support the unemployed people on the weekly basis they just laid off from work. However, I completely disagree with the statement and my view points are mentioned in the given paragraphs. There are some reason why I believe that government should not help those folks who are unemployed. Firstly, in the modern world, it is very important to work or job for earning for themselves or to complete the daily needs of life. In fact, in some countries the rate of unemployment is increased day by day. The government should encourage the people to do job and not help those masses by providing food clothes and some basic needs. If authorities support the unemployed folks they become only dependent on others and not try to do any type of work for their family or complete their own needs. Proving further, I also believe that if government helps unemployed folks then high amount of money also spend on it and it can be considered the total wastage of money. It greatly impacts on the economy of country and allocate funds on employed for helping them is not beneficial to the nation. The authorities ought to disperse these funds on other fields such as science, education, improve the facilities and so on. Moreover it also influences the thinking of other people that if regime helps the unemployed folks then they believe that there is discrimination happen with us. There are also forced to the government to provide facilities as same as employed masses. In conclusion, there are several misunderstandings or conflicts are happened if government support to the unemployed people.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that regime ought to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the weekly basis they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
laid off from work.
However
, I completely disagree with the statement and my view points
are mentioned
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
paragraphs.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those folks who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
.
Firstly
, in the modern world, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to work or job for earning for themselves or to complete the daily needs of life. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries the rate of unemployment
is increased
day by day. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do job and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those masses by providing food clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic needs. If authorities support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
folks they become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dependent on others and not try to do any type of work for their family or complete their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs.

Proving
further
, I
also
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
folks then high amount of money
also
spend on it and it can
be considered
the total wastage of money. It
greatly
impacts on the economy of country and allocate funds on employed for helping them is not beneficial to the nation. The authorities ought to disperse these funds on other fields such as science, education,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the facilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it
also
influences the thinking of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that if regime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
folks then they believe that there is discrimination happen
The verb 'happen' usually requires the preposition "to".
with
us. There are
also
forced to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide facilities as same as employed masses.

In conclusion
, there are several misunderstandings or conflicts
are happened
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that government should help unemployed or just laid off from work on weekly basis.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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