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Some people believe that globalization and development of multinational companies has a bad impact on society. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Some people believe that globalization and development of multinational companies has a bad impact on society. To what extent kWxlR
There is no doubt that every country has same culture and style. But, one of the school thought that globalization and multinational companies has adverse effect in society. According to me, both has positive and negative trends. But, I will discuss my view points in further paragraphs. To begin with, my first and foremost reason is that nowadays people follow others culture and style under the influence of globalization. They forget their culture and give back seat to their culture. Secondly, people also like to wear western clothes and eat foreign food such as chinese, Italian. To cite an example, most of the boys who belong to sikh family tie a turban which is main identification of boys. Due to globalization, they cut their hairs and follow new trends. Lastly, many people work hard around the clock in foreign countries and companies exploid them compares of native people. Probing ahead, there are myraid drawbacks of globalization and multinational companies. But, benefits can not be neglected because globalization led to brotherhood and eliminated castes with commuters. What is more, multinational companies also vanished the unemployment. Companies give jobs to educated people who speak well English. To instance, last year survey was conducted in india. They showed that multinational companies reduce the unemployment from the country. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that globalization and multinational companies both has pros and cons. So, people should be sensible about the impacts how to reduce.
There is no doubt that every country has same
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "cultured".
culture
and style.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, one of the school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
has adverse effect in society.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, both has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I will discuss my view points in
further
paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, my
first
and foremost reason is that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and style under the influence of globalization. They forget their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and give back seat to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
like to wear western clothes and eat foreign food such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
, Italian. To cite an example, most of the boys who belong to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sikh
family tie a turban which is main identification of boys. Due to globalization, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
their
'Hair' is a mass noun: Use the singular, when you refer to someone's "hair" as an entity.
hairs
and follow new trends.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
around the clock in foreign countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
Possible spelling mistake found.
exploid
them compares of native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Probing ahead, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
drawbacks of globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, benefits can not
be neglected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
globalization led to brotherhood and eliminated castes with commuters.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
also
vanished the unemployment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
give jobs to educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who speak well English. To instance, last year survey
was conducted
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment from the country. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that globalization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
both has pros and cons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be sensible about the impacts how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that globalization and development of multinational companies has a bad impact on society. To what extent

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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