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some people believe that for more secure and peaceful life we should restore death penalty .do you agree or disagree

some people believe that for more secure and peaceful life we should restore death penalty. VyxV7
It is argued that the government should restore capital punishment in order to live in a safe environment and to reduce the accelerating crime rate. I completely agree with the opinion that without the death penalty our society will become an unsafe place for people's life. In the first place, the death penalty is necessary as it is an effective deterrent to many major offences. It is one of the best methods to prevent a person from committing a serious crime is to show the consequences of their misconduct and felonies. For example, many Asian countries, including Singapore, have controlled the drug trafficking and drug dealing by enforcing death penalties for such offenders. As a result of this law, all of those countries have alleviated the drug trafficking and drug dealing problems to a staggering lower level. Furthermore, It is a fact that capital punishment is more cost-effective than housing and feeding someone in prison for life. The government spends quite a lot of money to keep someone in prison for the whole of their life, so executing them can save money. It’s slightly different in every country, for example in America the death penalty is pretty expensive than in other countries but on the whole, it’s a cheaper option. In conclusion, capital punishment is of paramount importance to countries for prevention as well as control of capital offenses and criminal activities. I believe that the application of the death penalty as a punishment will enhance order in the world.
It
is argued
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should restore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a safe environment and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the accelerating crime rate. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that without the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
our society will become an unsafe place for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.

In the
first
place, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is necessary as it is an effective deterrent to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. It is one of the best methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a person from committing a serious crime is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the consequences of their misconduct and felonies.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, including Singapore, have controlled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealing by enforcing death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for such offenders.
As a result
of this law, all of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have alleviated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealing problems to a staggering lower level.

Furthermore
, It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is more cost-effective than housing and feeding someone in prison for life. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
someone in prison for the whole of their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
executing them can save money. It’s
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
for example
in America the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is pretty expensive than in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the whole
, it’s a cheaper option.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is of paramount importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for prevention
as well
as control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
offenses and criminal activities. I believe that the application of the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
will enhance order in the world.
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IELTS essay some people believe that for more secure and peaceful life we should restore death penalty.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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