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In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. w79Dm
This essay discusses the connection between shootings and ease of access to guns. It argues that having higher amounts of guns at home, leads to an increase in gun violence. Gun right activist tend to argue that it is not guns that are killing people, rather people are killing people. This is certainly the case; however, it misses the important connection between having access to guns and committing violent acts. It is true that People do not become violent because of guns, but if they have access to firearms, then they can act on these violent impulses. The root course of the aggression might be mental illness, but easy access to firearms is what directly leads to shootings. However, this problem is not so simple. Looking at the example of Switzerland, which has a similar gun per capita rate as the US but almost no shootings, it is clear that the connection between the number of guns and violent shootings is not so simple. The main difference is that in Switzerland it is harder to gain access to guns compared to the US. Background checks and other mitigation methods help keep guns out of the hands of those, who would commit such violent acts. It is also important to mention that gun culture can play a significant role in gun violence. Switzerland for example has a much healthier gun culture than the US, helped by the fact that most citizens have served in the military. This leads to gun owners taking better care of their weapons, making sure that they are safely stored for example. In conclusion, the number of guns leads directly to an increase in gun violence. But mitigation efforts such as background checks can help with this issue.
This essay discusses the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
shootings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
. It argues that having higher amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
at home, leads to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
violence.

Gun right activist tend to argue that it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
that are killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
certainly
the case;
however
, it misses the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
and committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
acts. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to firearms, then they can act on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
impulses. The root course of the aggression might be mental illness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to firearms is what
directly
leads to shootings.

However
, this problem is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple. Looking at the example of Switzerland, which has a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
per capita rate as the US
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
almost no shootings, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
shootings is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple. The main difference is that in Switzerland it is harder to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
compared to the US. Background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
and other mitigation methods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
out of the hands of those, who would commit such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
acts.

It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
culture can play a significant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
violence. Switzerland
for example
has a much healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
culture than the US,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by the fact that most citizens have served in the military. This leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
owners taking better care of their weapons, making sure that they are
safely
stored
for example
.

In conclusion
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
leads
directly
to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
violence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
mitigation efforts such as background
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with this issue.
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IELTS essay In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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