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Nowadays, obesity is a widespread problem. what are the reasons of it? what could be done to solve this problem.

Nowadays, obesity is a widespread problem. what are the reasons of it? what could be done to solve this problem. GLjy2
A plethora of people who suffer from obesity is increasing dramatically day by day. It has caused concern of health professionals by all over the world. This alarming trend is derives from a few factors, and it must be addressed by a number of definite action. It is undeniable that one of the most primary cause of obesity is sedentary life style. Nowadays, most people spend their time on studying or working, which means that they do not have abundant time to do any physical exercise. As a result, majority of people end up with putting on a lot of extra weight. In addition, another essential factor which causes to obesity is unbalanced diet. Unhealthy foods such as, fast food, proceed food and carbs are more affordable than superfoods. Consequently, more people tend to purchase cheaper foods which is extremely hazardous for health. Fortunately, there are numerous effective ways to prevent increasing of obesity among people. One of the functional solution seems to reduce work and study hours of people. In that case, if people have extra time go to gyms, sport halls and do exercise regularly, they will become more active and healthy. Another possible measure to tackle obesity is to cut on prices of healthy food and make them achievable for more people. To summarize, obesity can get out of one the most risky and worldwide problems, if listed measures taken by society and government.
A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from obesity is increasing
dramatically
day by day. It has caused concern of health professionals by all over the world. This alarming trend is derives from a few factors, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
by a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
action.

It is undeniable that one of the most primary cause of obesity is sedentary life style. Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their time on studying or working, which means that they do not have abundant time to do any physical exercise.
As a result
, majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with putting on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
extra weight.
In addition
, another essential factor which causes to obesity
is unbalanced
diet. Unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
such as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, proceed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and carbs are more affordable than superfoods.
Consequently
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which is
extremely
hazardous for health.

Fortunately
, there are numerous effective ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
increasing of obesity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One of the functional solution seems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
work and study hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In that case
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have extra time go to gyms, sport halls and do exercise
regularly
, they will become more active and healthy. Another possible measure to tackle obesity is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
on prices of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them achievable for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To summarize
, obesity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of one the most risky and worldwide problems, if listed measures taken by society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, obesity is a widespread problem. what are the reasons of it? what could be done to solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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