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Some people believe that for a hobby to be enjoyable it should be hard to acquire or learn Do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Some people believe that for a hobby to be enjoyable it should be hard to acquire or learn v. 2
People always have hobbies to occupy their free time. Many individuals advocate that to make it joyful, it should not be easy to gain or learn. I stand on the same side of individuals who cite that the hobbies could be complex. This essay will discuss the reasons and illustrations for my standing. Hobbies are past-time activity for people because it keeps them occupied and divert them from their stressful life. Moreover; a hobby will make people not only active but also smart. For some people an easy task of a hobby will be convenient as it take less time. This is because, nowadays people are more occupied with studies or work to keep-up the pace as a consequence the availability of the time is very less, which in-turn has a limited amount of time to spare on hobbies. For example, collecting coins and stamps which will not take any time, there are the parts of daily life. However, masses choose to have some hobbies which are often hard to do and learn to enjoy the outcomes. This is because they are interesting which involves physical and mental activities. Sometimes these activities could turn into main career path and put an individual on impeccable level. Cricket in India is a hobby for most of the people and it is also a passion to play. Although it is a complex game to understand and should spare a lot of physical effort to play, most of the Indian first class players had chosen cricket as a hobby in their childhood, as a result, they became perfect and now they are playing for India. This is one of the prominent reasons to choose a hard past-time activity. In conclusion leisure time activities are ubiquitous in every person, some choose to have a simple hobby because of some constraints, but in my opinion selecting a hard hobby will make it interesting and enjoyable experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
always have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
to occupy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals advocate that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it joyful, it should not be easy to gain or learn. I stand on the same side of individuals who cite that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
could be complex. This essay will discuss the reasons and illustrations for my standing.

Hobbies are past-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them occupied and divert them from their stressful life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
; a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
active
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
smart. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an easy task of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
will be convenient as it
Did you mean "takes"?
take
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more occupied with studies or work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
-up the pace as a consequence the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less, which in-turn has a limited amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spare on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
For example
, collecting coins and stamps which will not take any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, there are the parts of daily life.

However
, masses choose to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to do and learn to enjoy the outcomes. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are interesting which involves physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
could turn into main career path and put an individual on impeccable level. Cricket in India is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it is
also
a passion to play. Although it is a complex game to understand and should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
physical effort to play, most of the Indian
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
players had chosen cricket as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
in their childhood,
as a result
, they became perfect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are playing for India. This is one of the prominent reasons to choose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
past-time activity.

In conclusion
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are ubiquitous in every person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
choose to have a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
constraints,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion selecting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it interesting and enjoyable experience.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people believe that for a hobby to be enjoyable it should be hard to acquire or learn v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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