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Some people believe that exercise is important and some people also believe balanced diet is important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that exercise is important and some people also believe balanced diet is important. nEGne
Health is the key factor for living a happy and prosperous life. In this essay, we will further discuss two of the many factors for leading a healthy life, which are exercise and a balanced diet. Due to the drastic change in people’s lifestyle nowadays I believe both of the ways mentioned before are as important as the other but I tend to agree more with having a balanced diet instead of doing exercise. Firstly, I would like to discuss how important exercise is and if not followed it could lead to a serious and permanent health concern. As we all know due to the increase in the demand of work-life, paying attention to one’s personal self is quite difficult and due to the same reason, it not possible to have a home-cooked healthy meal all the time. Living this sort of lifestyle for a longer period of time could cause problems like high cholesterol, heart disease and if not taken care of it could also lead to one death. On the other hand if one has this habit it would be much likely for him/her to live a disease-free life. Furthermore, I would like to discuss how important is the role of a balanced diet in a person’s life and what could happen if one doesn’t stick to it. As discussed in the previous paragraph how the increase in the demand in the corporate world lead people to care less about themselves and their diet. Due to this reason, many are surviving with what is quickly and easily accessible which generally includes unhealthy food. Fact’s shows that people who do not follow a balanced diet could easily get immune problems which could further cause many disorders and diseases. To conclude, both of the factors discussed above play a keen role in one’s life but according to me, one should follow a planned and balanced diet to lead a healthy life.
Health is the key factor for living a happy and prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this essay, we will
further
discuss two of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors for leading a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which are exercise and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s lifestyle nowadays I believe both of the ways mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
more with having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet
instead
of doing exercise.

Firstly
, I would like to discuss how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
exercise is and if not followed it could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to a serious and permanent health concern. As we all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the increase in the demand of work-life, paying attention to one’s personal self is quite difficult and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the same reason,
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
not possible to have a home-cooked healthy meal all the time. Living this sort of lifestyle for a longer period of time could cause problems like high cholesterol, heart disease and if not taken care of it could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to one death.
On the other hand
if one has this habit it would be much likely for him/her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a disease-free life.

Furthermore
, I would like to discuss how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the role of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet in a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and what could happen if one doesn’t stick to it. As discussed in the previous paragraph how the increase in the demand in the corporate world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to care less about themselves and their diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are surviving with what is
quickly
and
easily
accessible which
generally
includes unhealthy food. Fact’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not follow a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
immune problems which could
further
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disorders and diseases.

To conclude
, both of the factors discussed above play a keen role in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to me, one should follow a planned and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that exercise is important and some people also believe balanced diet is important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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