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Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others? ⠀

Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others? ⠀ GMMbB
Many people claim that country's success depends on only way to measure is economic progress, while others opine that there are variety of factors. I will consider in the next paragraphs arguments. What are the other factors which leads to success country? What factor is more crucial than others? First of all the big role play in society education. Country can not be prosperous without scientists, doctors and other carriers. Furthermore, prosperous country's pay attention to education because the future on the hands of growing generation. Also, there is sport factor which can be considered but this is not important like education development. In addition crime rate. Low point of crime helps country become success and prosperous. For instance, If there are many crime cases in the country it will be shown by reporters about might know other countries which can be denying from collaboration. Education also, play significant role in prevention crime ratesin the country. In my opinion, crucial factor of development country take place education. Education is the most important factor because not educated people can not rise up country. Always first place taken by countries with good education system rather others. To draw the conclusion, I agree with people who considerthat there are other factors which play meaningful role in prosperous of country, but I would contend that education play not exchangeble role than other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
claim that country's success depends on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to measure is economic progress, while others opine that there are variety of
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factors
. I will consider in the
next
paragraphs arguments. What are the
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other
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factors
which leads to success
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country
? What
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factor
is more crucial than others?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the
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big
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role
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play
in society
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education
.
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Country
can not be
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prosperous
without scientists, doctors and
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other
carriers.
Furthermore
,
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prosperous
country's pay attention to
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education
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because
the future on the hands of growing generation.
Also
, there is sport
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factor
which can
be considered
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but
this is not
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important
like
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education
development.

In
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addition
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crime
rate. Low point of
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crime
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helps
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country
become success and
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prosperous
.
For instance
, If there are
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many
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crime
cases in the
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country
it will
be shown
by reporters about might know
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other
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countries
which can
The verb 'denying' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be denying
from collaboration.
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Education
also
,
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play
significant
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role
in prevention
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crime
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ratesin
the country.

In my opinion, crucial
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factor
of development
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country
take place
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education
.
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Education
is the most
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important
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factor
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because
not educated
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people
can not rise up
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country
. Always
first
place taken by
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countries
with
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good
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education
system
rather
others.

To draw the conclusion, I
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agree
with
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people
who
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considerthat
there are
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other
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factors
which
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play
meaningful
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role
in
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prosperous
of
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country
,
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but
I would contend that
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education
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play
not
Possible spelling mistake found.
exchangeble
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role
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors. What are these factors? Which one is more important than others? ⠀

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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