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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own. Wyyrq
Free time of children is considered to be a critical factor for children’s growth. Although many people believe that parents should inspire their kids to attend organized group events, others are of the opinion that children should be self-oriented. This essay will discuss both views and why I believe that children should engage in group activities in their free time. To begin with, participation in group events helps children to become efficient problem solvers. This is because when a child participates in a group problem-solving activity, he can learn several perspectives of problem-solving from his peers. For example, if a student completes a math assignment in a group, he will know how to solve those maths in many alternative ways. In addition, a student can learn other valuable skills like teamwork and cooperation. To illustrate, not only does a student solve the problem, but he also helps others to solve the task. This is clearly beneficial for the future improvement of a child. On the other hand, there are others who believe that children should be able to manage their free time on their own. They think children waste most of their free time when in a group environment, and they end up doing nothing effective. Another reason for this is that youngsters need to learn to solve a problem independently as they will have to face those in the future, alone. However, if kids stay alone during their free time, they end up playing games and scrolling to social media. Thus, children should be supervised by a parent when they are alone during their free time. In conclusion, despite some benefits of being alone during free time, I believe structured group events help children to achieve many necessary skills.
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Free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
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children
is considered
to be a critical factor for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
growth. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that parents should inspire their kids to attend organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, others are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be self-oriented. This essay will discuss both views and why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
activities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become efficient problem solvers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when a child participates in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
problem-solving activity, he can learn several perspectives of problem-solving from his peers.
For example
, if a student completes a math assignment in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, he will know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
those
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternative ways.
In addition
, a student can learn
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other
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like teamwork and cooperation. To illustrate, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does a student
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solve
the problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
others to
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solve
the task. This is
clearly
beneficial for the future improvement of a child.

On the
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other
hand, there are others who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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children
waste most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
environment, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up doing nothing effective. Another reason for this is that youngsters need to learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
a problem
independently
as they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face those in the future,
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alone
.
However
, if kids stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up playing games and scrolling to social media.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be supervised
by a parent when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time.

In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of being
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alone
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.