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Some people believe that dangerous sports should be banned. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your opinion)

Some people believe that dangerous sports should be banned. Discuss both views and give your opinion) lLpgD
Many people contend that games like wrestling, bullfighting, sky diving etc. are harmful for the players, and these oughts to be prohibited by authority while others think otherwise. I have to agree with this as these types of sports have life risks, and in contrast, other sports are more enjoyable without any life risk and should be promoted. The government must take some serious measures to stop risky games to save our young generation. (There are numerous reasons to stop risky games. ) Firstly, these types of sports have life risks such as with a slight variation a player can lose his life or injure his major organs. For example, wrestling is widely amusing for children and they try to imitate this at home, sometimes causing them severe health conditions. Added to this, players who participate in these games always put their life in danger, and therefore, their family always remains in a traumatic situation, fearing for them which have a negative impact on their life. To avoid such conditions authorities must put an end to these types of games at the earliest. Another reason to prohibit dangerous sports is other sports are more enjoyable. To start with, other sports like, Football, Tennis, Hockey, badminton could be an alternative of hazardous games. Moreover, all these events are more popular all over the world. These types of games will help our youngsters to keep them fit as by participating in this event we can do physical exercise. Government should promote and encourage our children and adults to engage them in such types of sports. To sum up, Life-threatening games are more popular among adolescents, However, to keep more option in sports, we can support risky games but authorities must impose some rules and regulations on some parts of the games which can eliminate the harmful part of the sporting events.
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Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like wrestling, bullfighting,
Did you mean "skydiving"?
sky diving
etc. are harmful for the players, and these
Possible spelling mistake found.
oughts
to
be prohibited
by authority while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. I
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have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this as these
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types
of
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sports
have
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life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, and
in contrast
,
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other
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sports
are more enjoyable without any
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life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and should
be promoted
.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to save our young generation. (There are numerous reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
Firstly
, these
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types
of
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sports
have
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life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as with a slight variation a player can lose his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or injure his major organs.
For example
, wrestling is
widely
amusing for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they try to imitate this at home,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
causing them severe health conditions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to this, players who participate in these
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games
always put their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, and
therefore
, their family always remains in a traumatic situation, fearing for them which have a
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negative
impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To avoid such conditions authorities
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must
put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at the earliest.

Another reason to prohibit
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dangerous
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sports
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more enjoyable. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
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other
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sports
like, Football, Tennis, Hockey, badminton could be an alternative of hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Moreover
, all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are more popular all over the world. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fit as by participating in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
we can do physical exercise.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should promote and encourage our children and adults to engage them in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of sports.

To sum up, Life-threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more popular among adolescents,
However
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
more option in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, we can support risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which can eliminate the harmful part of the sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that dangerous sports should be banned. Discuss both views and give your opinion)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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