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Some people believe that criminal should be put into prison as long as possible however others believe that its right to education those people in local communities with both sides and give your opinion

Some people believe that criminal should be put into prison as long as possible however others believe that its right to education those people in local communities with both sides and give your opinion YkakB
Many people argue that criminals should be punished into jail as much as possible, whilst rest of believe that convict should get education for remaining life to live in society. I completely agree with both statements and this essay describe that the main idea about statements. Firstly, nowadays many human turning to crime due to poverty and unemployment. Many of them do minor robbery, but there was someone who try to kill someone, kidnap and physical assault. For these types of prisoners government should take a higher step and gave them more and more punishment, so they have built fear about this to not do this again. Also authorities should gave them daily dose of torture and doing brainwash of fugitive. For example, in India there was a law passed last year that anyone do rape to opposite gender they have penalty of sentance of death. Secondly, there are many convict who become bad person for some reason, so they need just good education moreover, many of them are doing crime just for food and money or for some basic things. However, these types of criminal caught they should not be punished. For instance, in the America there is a school where these types of criminal are deployed from different area of world where they can learn some basic education. In addition, in this school on Sunday, or on holiday picnic was organised, so this is better place to live for criminal after some years they were free with their families. In conclusion, for some reason punishment was necessary. As well as education is also a good way for make a future bright, this will help them for a new start of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be punished
into jail as much as possible, whilst rest of believe that convict should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for remaining life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in society. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both statements and this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
that the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about statements.

Firstly
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
human turning to crime due to poverty and unemployment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them do minor robbery,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was someone who try to kill someone, kidnap and physical assault. For these types of prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take a higher step and gave them more and more punishment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have built fear about this to not do this again.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
authorities should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
gave
them daily dose of torture and doing brainwash of fugitive.
For example
, in India there was a law passed last year that anyone do rape to opposite gender they have penalty of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sentance
of death.

Secondly
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun convict seems to be countable; consider using: "many convicts".
many convict
who become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
person for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need
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just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are doing crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for food and money or for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic things.
However
, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
caught they should not
be punished
.
For instance
, in the America there is a school where these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
are deployed
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
area of world where they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
In addition
, in this school on Sunday, or on holiday picnic was
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years they were free with their families.

In conclusion
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason punishment was necessary.
As well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a future bright, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them for a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that criminal should be put into prison as long as possible however others believe that its right to education those people in local communities with both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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