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Some people believe that courses of performing arts (e.g. dance, music, drama, etc.), should be funded by government. Others believe that these should be funded through other ways (e.g. businesses or student’s family). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that courses of performing arts (e. g. dance, music, drama, etc. ), should be funded by government. Others believe that these should be funded through other ways (e. g. businesses or student’s family). 1oP0A
A group of commentators are of this approach that holding and attending in artistry performance classes namely music, theater, or dance ought to be financially supported by government, whereas the other cohorts are against it and assert that this funding should be applied on enthusiasts via different sources such as related corporations or even their families. Both approaches are debated in the following in detail, together with my own personal view is outlined. On the one hand, it is commonly held by some authorities and it is accepted by their followers that flourishing courses of art branches which encompassing performing skills have to be expedited by governments’ funds. First and foremost, it results in easier circumstances of enrollment for attendees by using allocated subsidies. As a matter of fact, all individuals in the society would participate in these courses with a same amount of opportunity if they took advantage of various subsidies for instance national grants in these contexts. However, it seems this statement provides a place of inequality for more susceptible people. It means, for example, the more talented people are, the more accessibility to artistic courses may have – the thing which sounds does not matter with this attitude. On the other hand, it is considered by some other commentators that supporting visual arts ought to be occurred by different diversified sources such as businesses or pupil’s parents themselves. Initially, governments can allocate specific amount of funds to commercial sectors involving arts and culture, rather than invest on citizens directly. In this way, a better filtration will be done and opportunities will find real talents. Moreover, by providing predetermined pensions or grants for families, they can decide themselves how to utilize these bonuses for their children in right times and right places. In other words, school children will be able to start they acting careers since childhood if their parent rules permit them to follow such after-school classes properly. To conclude, keeping both mentioned views of government-based and miscellaneous assistance for acting art courses valuable, my firm conviction is that the former is of more importance. In fact, investing on potential artists would be smarter and more effective in this way.
A group of commentators
are
of this approach that holding and attending in artistry performance classes
namely
music, theater, or dance ought to be
financially
supported by
government
, whereas the
other
cohorts are against it and assert that this funding should
be applied
on enthusiasts via
different
sources such as related corporations or even their families. Both approaches
are debated
in the following in detail, together with my
own
personal view
is outlined
.

On the one hand, it is
commonly
held by
some
authorities and it is
accepted
by their followers that flourishing
courses
of
art
branches which encompassing performing
skills
have to
be expedited
by
governments
’ funds.
First
and foremost, it results in easier circumstances of enrollment for attendees by using allocated subsidies. As a matter of fact, all individuals in the society would participate in these
courses
with a same amount of opportunity if they took advantage of various subsidies
for instance
national grants in these contexts.
However
, it seems this statement provides a place of inequality for more susceptible
people
. It means,
for example
, the more talented
people
are, the more accessibility to artistic
courses
may have
the thing which sounds
does
not matter with this attitude.

On the
other
hand, it
is considered
by
some
other
commentators that supporting visual
arts
ought to
be occurred
by
different
diversified sources such as businesses or pupil’s parents themselves.
Initially
,
governments
can allocate specific amount of funds to commercial sectors involving
arts
and culture,
rather
than invest on citizens
directly
. In this way, a better filtration will
be done
and opportunities will find real talents.
Moreover
, by providing predetermined pensions or grants for families, they can decide themselves how to utilize these bonuses for their children in right times and right places. In
other
words, school children will be able to
start
they acting
careers since childhood if their parent
rules
permit them to follow such after-school classes
properly
.

To conclude
, keeping both mentioned views of
government
-based and miscellaneous assistance for acting
art
courses
valuable, my firm conviction is that the former is of more importance. In fact, investing on potential artists would be smarter and more effective in this way.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that courses of performing arts (e. g. dance, music, drama, etc. ), should be funded by government. Others believe that these should be funded through other ways (e. g. businesses or student’s family).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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