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some people believe that competitive Sports both team and in the individual or no place in the school curriculum to what extent you agree or disagree

some people believe that competitive Sports both team and in the individual or no place in the school curriculum to what extent you agree or disagree pbX13
it is often claimed by people that competitive Sports should not happen in any school programs. Let us examine both sides before reaching a concrete decision I will be sharing my opinion and reasons for choosing one side. It is clear that competitive Sports whether team or individual have always been a part of the school programs. Generally speaking I believe this helps children to some extent especially when the competition among them is not extreme and intense. The reason for this is that not only it will help them develop a sense of purpose but also it will encourage them to work on their goals. Another advantage of this that I could point is that children will learn to work together as a team for instance where the football team in schools kids will learn that all 11 of the teammates are essential for creating a team and without one thr team would have some issues. At the same time they will learn from their mistakes if they fail they will be taught that it is not the end and the experience is far more important. On the downside the problem that comes with competition is, it might have some negative impact on children including anxiety, the pressure of winning, hate on the opposite team and many more. I think with correct teaching and a positive mindset they will not experience it. Though for example in some cases when a kid is a bit slower and not as good as other teammates he feels pressured to be betterand this brings a lot of stress evidently they can feel discouraged and even quit. All Things Considered I disagree with this topic to some extent. In my view healthy competitive sports are necessary in the schools and the advantages outwin the disadvantages. So to speak it will teach children many valuable lessons that cannot be taught elsewhere.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
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often
claimed by
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people
that competitive Sports should not happen in any
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school
programs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us examine both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a concrete decision I will be sharing my opinion and reasons for choosing one side.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that competitive Sports whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or individual have always been a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs.
Generally
speaking I believe this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
especially
when the competition among them is not extreme and intense.
The reason for this is
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop a sense of purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will encourage them to work on their goals. Another advantage of this that I could point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn to work together as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
for instance
where the football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
kids will learn that all 11 of the teammates are essential for creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and without one
Possible spelling mistake found.
thr
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues. At the same time they will learn from their mistakes if they fail they will
be taught
that it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and the experience is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the downside the problem that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with competition is, it might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
including anxiety, the pressure of winning, hate on the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
with correct teaching and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
mindset they will not experience it. Though
for example
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases when a kid is a bit slower and not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as other teammates he feels pressured to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
betterand
this brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
evidently
they can feel discouraged and even quit.

All Things Considered I disagree with this topic to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. In my view healthy competitive sports are necessary in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and the advantages
Possible spelling mistake found.
outwin
the disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to speak it will teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
valuable lessons that cannot
be taught
elsewhere.

IELTS essay some people believe that competitive Sports both team and in the individual or no place in the school curriculum to what extent you agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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