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Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning.

Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning. 7ap8Y
Today's parents are more sophisticated, knowledgeable and accomplished which assist children to strengthen their educations. Today's parents have excelling realization and desirable association with their children. I strongly agree that today’s parents are more involved in their children's education rather than parents in the past. First of all, today's improving technologies, sciences, and society causes parents to be more literate and it causes to have superior knowledge and exposure about the children's issues. Literate parents could spend most of time with their children and get suggestion for them. Literate parents could help their children, which courses they need to take to become better and could help them which school or university is more affectual. Parents could be effective in selecting university field and in examining their aptitude and curiosity which are significant factors in being prosperous in educational life. My own experience is a good example of this. I have literate parents; they have high knowledge about everything because they study a lot. I could say my parents are one of my influential incentives in my success because of their maintenance, encouragement, their knowledge, advice and their effort for me. They always consume time helping me with my lesson, helped me to choose my filed in university and helping to have superior grades and to find an admirable job. Not only parents are competent teachers, but also they are north worthy guidance too. Secondly, parents are the best friends for children which this friendship causes to realize their children better. If you look closer to families, you will see that children have a hearty relationship with their parents, even mother or father. Children spend most of their time with their parents, since this causes them to realize each other better. Friendship between parents and children causes parents to have high apprehension about their children's necessity. Children could easily say their problems, their needs, and requests about everything even their educations. For instance, I have a friendly relationship with my father because he is so kind and intelligent person. From high school, I had lots of problems with my lessons. When I said to my father, he spent lots of his time to teach me; even I could remember he took a tutor for me to solve my problems. To sum up, parents are ebullient persons with surpassing perception for children. In conclusion, today’s parents are more educated and they can realize their children better than parents in the best. Not only parents can help their children, but also they can encourage them better. Parents can establish a better relationship which has a great result in their study and success.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more sophisticated, knowledgeable and accomplished which assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to strengthen their educations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have excelling realization and desirable association with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more involved in their children's education
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the past.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's improving technologies, sciences, and society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literate
and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
to have superior knowledge and exposure about the children's issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Literate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could spend most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suggestion for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Literate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which courses they need to take to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them which school or university is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
affectual
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
could be effective in selecting university field and in examining their aptitude and curiosity which are significant factors in being prosperous in educational life. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this. I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
; they have high knowledge about everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they study a lot. I could say my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are one of my influential incentives in my success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their maintenance, encouragement, their knowledge, advice and their effort for me. They always consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
helping me with my lesson,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to choose my filed in university and helping to have superior grades and to find an admirable job. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are competent teachers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are north worthy guidance too.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best friends for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which this friendship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
to realize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. If you look closer to families, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a hearty relationship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, even mother or father.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, since
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
them to realize each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Friendship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to have high apprehension about their children's necessity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
could
easily
say their problems, their needs, and requests about everything even their educations.
For instance
, I have a friendly relationship with my father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind and intelligent person. From high school, I had lots of problems with my lessons. When I said to my father, he spent lots of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to teach me; even I could remember he took a tutor for me to solve my problems. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are ebullient persons with surpassing perception for children.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
educated and
they can realize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the best. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can encourage them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can establish a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
relationship which has a great result in their study and success.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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