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The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater."Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close i

The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater. " Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close i 2bPwX
It is argued that, in order to keep on running the Rialto Movie Theater, more importantly to hold on to the share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, the manager of the theater suggests the Rialto should equip with the same features as Apex Theater. To support the idea of manager, he tells us the merits of the Apex including the video arcade, plush carpeting and seats as well as advanced sound system. Also, the manager represents a recent survey showed over 85 percent of respondents reported the new released movies ticket is too expensive that they cannot afford to go to the theater. While this statement is problematic, there are some loopholes in it, we should evaluate them carefully. To begin with, the two theaters are not comparable. Firstly, the age of the two theaters are totally different in high possiblity. As the Apex was just opened last year, there should be more advanced equipment like sound system and new seats in it due. While we do not know how long has the Rialto opened which should be more than one year, so the conditions of the two theaters confront with are more or less different, that's enough to make up two stories for them. Secondly, the locations are different likewise. Given the Rialto locates at downtown which seem to be a merit, while the Theater described by the author is about to close its door. On the other hand, the new opening Apex Theater locates in the mall outside the town is running well which attracts the author's attention deeply. Due to the opposite conditions of the two theaters, there must be other reasons for the Rialto's repression. In addition, when exploring the other reason for the repression of Rialto, the author turns to a recent survey, but it is also not helpful in that there is no obvious evidence to support the idea. Firstly, it is because of the " recently" . We do not know when did the survey begin as well as the end. The report likewise did not mention the specific time. So it would be a report of the survey five years ago which has no value of reference. Secondly and foremost, most of the people responded the survey complained that the ticket price of the new movie is too high to afford. Here is the question that whether the respondents were true. Because it is human nature when asked the about the products' price, people always complain the expensiveness of them. In conclusion, the recommendation is not well supported by the author. To make the suggestion more persuasive, the author should research the theater of his to find out what caused the
It
is argued
that, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on running the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rialto
Movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Theater
, more
importantly
to hold on to the share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, the manager of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
suggests the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rialto
should equip with the same features as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Theater
. To support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of manager, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us the merits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apex
including the video arcade, plush carpeting and seats as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as advanced sound system.
Also
, the manager represents a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
over 85 percent of respondents reported the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
released movies ticket is too expensive that they cannot afford to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
. While this statement is problematic, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
loopholes in it, we should evaluate them
carefully
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the two theaters are not comparable.
Firstly
, the age of the two theaters are
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in high
Possible spelling mistake found.
possiblity
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apex
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opened last year, there should be more advanced equipment like sound system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
seats in it due. While we do not know how long has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rialto
opened which should be more than one year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the conditions of the two theaters confront with are more or less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, that's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up two stories for them.
Secondly
, the locations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
likewise
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rialto
locates at downtown which seem to be a merit, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Theater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is about to close its door.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Theater
locates in the mall outside the town is running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
which attracts the author's attention
deeply
. Due to the opposite conditions of the two theaters, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be other reasons for the Rialto's repression.

In addition
, when exploring the other reason for the repression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rialto
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
turns to a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
not helpful in that there is no obvious evidence to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
recently&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
We do not know when did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. The report
likewise
did not mention the specific time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it would be a report of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
five years ago which has no value of reference.
Secondly
and foremost, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
responded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
complained that the ticket price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
movie is too high to afford. Here is the question that whether the respondents were true.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is human nature when asked
Duplicated 'the' in the phrase: 'the about the'. Did you mean "about the"?
the about the
products' price,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always complain the expensiveness of them.

In conclusion
, the recommendation is not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the suggestion more persuasive, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should research the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theater
of his to find out what caused
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the
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IELTS essay The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater. " Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close i

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
449 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater."Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close i