Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

If you could change one important thing about your hometown what would you change?

If you could change one important thing about your hometown what would you change? qVQJ5
A small change can make anyone's life better. I live in a small town. There is no good school and college. If I will get a chance to change something in my town, I would like to change the education system. So that everyone would be educated. Firstly, knowledge is vital to survive in this world. Without knowledge we cannot get a good job. In my hometown there is no good facility for study. School is the first part of life where we get the knowledge, where we learn about everything. If we do not get the knowledge properly in our school time, then we will have to struggle a lot. Secondly, english is the national language in today's world. In my neighborhood, there is only one English medium school. The fee is so high in that school, which not everyone can afford. To survive in this world English language is pivotal. There are some people who get good jobs in IT firms but due to lack of knowledge of English they are not able to survive. Moreover, schools are so far from the main town and there is no transport facility. Students face a lot of difficulties going to school. So sometimes students give up on their study. If there will be a good facility for students to send them to school, students will not face issue. Therefore, they will get more time for their studies too. To sum up, " Knowledge is everything" . In every aspects of life, school is the initial step where we learn the basic things. If we are not learning basic things in a proper way then we will not get good in any stage of life. As I do not see any progress for study in my hometown. So I would like to open some good schools and colleges. This would be the best for every student who has a goal in their life.
A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
anyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town. There is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and college. If I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
something in my town, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the education system.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
everyone would
be educated
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is vital to survive in this world. Without
The comma is probably missing here: "knowledge, we".
knowledge we
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job. In my hometown there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is the
first
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, where we learn about everything. If we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
properly
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time, then we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle a lot.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
is the national language in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world. In my neighborhood, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one English medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The fee is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which not everyone can afford. To survive in this world English language is pivotal. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
jobs in IT firms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of English they are not able to survive.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far from the main town and there is no transport facility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficulties going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
give up on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. If there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
facility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not face issue.
Therefore
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
too.

To sum up,
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
everything&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the initial step where we learn the basic things. If we are not learning basic things
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
then we will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in any stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any progress for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in my hometown.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like to open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and colleges. This would be the best for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has a goal in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay If you could change one important thing about your hometown what would you change?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • If you could change one important thing about your hometown what would you change?