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Some people believe that climate play major role on lifestyle of people, whereas, others say it is economy of the region. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that climate play major role on lifestyle of people, whereas, others say it is economy of the region. WEDW0
In the present era, every country people on the earth has its different ways of life to live. To this context, some believe that climate has the major impact on how the residents live, while some say economy of the region plays an important role. In my opinion, both the factors have significant impact on the way the individuals live, eat and work. To begin with, every region has its different climate based on their geography location. In colder regions the individuals tend to wear sweaters and hoodies. Whereas, in countries located on equator having hot and humid climate tend to wear loose, open and short clothes. For example, a report by Times Now showed that residents of western, northern regions wear warm clothes to keep themselves warm. Secondly, people in colder region tend to have more liquid diet to feel warm, while in hot regions they have everything. These are few impacts climate can have on the way people live. On the other hand, some believe that economy is the major factor on the people. Firstly, the individuals from poorer region suffer from starvation due to lack of earnings. To explain further, it can lead to deaths in those regions. Furthermore, in developing countries individuals tend to migrate to developed countries for job. For instance, a article published in a newspaper showed that people of developing like India migrate to Develop countries like USA, Canada and Russia usually. In my opinion, both the factors are equally important in the way individuals live. In conclusion, many different factors impact on the lifestyle on people from different like regions on their life, food and work.
In the present era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the earth has its
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different
ways of life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. To this context,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
has the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on how the residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say economy of the
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region
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. In my opinion, both the
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factors
have significant
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impact
on the way the
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individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, eat and work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, every
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region
has its
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different
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climate
based on their geography location. In colder
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regions
the
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individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to wear sweaters and hoodies. Whereas, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
located on equator having hot and humid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to wear loose, open and short clothes.
For example
, a report by Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that residents of western, northern
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regions
wear warm clothes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves warm.
Secondly
,
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people
in colder
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region
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to have more liquid diet to feel warm, while in hot
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regions
they have everything. These are few
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impacts
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climate
can have on the way
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that economy is the major
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factor
on the
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people
.
Firstly
, the
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individuals
from poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
suffer from starvation due to lack of earnings. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
, it can lead to deaths in those
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regions
.
Furthermore
, in developing
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countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to migrate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for job.
For instance
,
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
article published in a newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
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people
of developing like India migrate to Develop
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countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
, Canada and Russia
usually
.

In my opinion, both the
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factors
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the way
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individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

In conclusion
,
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many
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different
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factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the lifestyle on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
on their life, food and work.

IELTS essay Some people believe that climate play major role on lifestyle of people, whereas, others say it is economy of the region.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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