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in some countries, online shopping is replaced shopping in store. Do you think the pros outweigh cons of online shopping?

in some countries, online shopping is replaced shopping in store. Do you think the pros outweigh cons of online shopping? EL6Mq
When the question of online shopping comes into view, there exist many trends. Some people strongly tend to believe that virtual stores should be replaced on traditional stores. Others; however, think that maintaining original shopping is better than virtual ones. From my point of view, everything has both sides. It is no doubt that online shopping results in the large number of benefits, one of which is time-saving. Firstly, it is the cheapest and quickest way to obtain products without travelling. For intense, there are many apps like Tiki, Lazada, Shopee, etc… which support shopper buy many different things in order to make the purchase more easier also reduce geographical location. Range of choice is another advantage of web-based shopping, when customers can compare the price and brands while it is difficult to do in the original shopping. Moreover, during the COVID-19 pandemic, when you can’t go outside, you should order goods on the online store so that you will follow the government directives. On the other hand, virtual shopping has some negative affect to purchaser, one of which is the bad quality. In fact, some pro
When the question of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into view, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
tend to believe that virtual stores should
be replaced
on traditional stores. Others;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that maintaining original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is better than virtual ones. From my point of view, everything has both sides.

It is no doubt that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
results in the large number of benefits, one of which is time-saving.
Firstly
, it is the cheapest and quickest way to obtain products without travelling. For intense, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
apps like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiki
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lazada
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
, etc… which support shopper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
geographical location. Range of choice is another advantage of web-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, when customers can compare the price and brands while it is difficult to do in the original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Moreover
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, when you can’t go outside, you should order
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
on the online store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you will follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
directives.

On the other hand
, virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affect to purchaser, one of which is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
pro

IELTS essay in some countries, online shopping is replaced shopping in store. Do you think the pros outweigh cons of online shopping?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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