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some people believ that climate affects the person's way of life while others believ greater imapct on th econmy of region.

some people believ that climate affects the person's way of life while others believ greater imapct on th econmy of region. BYQEa
A number of people blame climate for the bad impact in their lives whereas others think that it is the economical imbalance responsible for this. Yet, I firmly believe that it is the financial aspect which is a major issue when compared to the climate. This following paragraph would shed light on both the arguments with a final note. To commence with the first notion, the weather can directly affect many lives. First of all, it can potentially alter the crop yields which is directly responsible for the farmers’ earnings. Moreover, when there is no sufficient crop yields, consequently, the common man feel the shortage for resources as well. In addition to it, changing climate also bring in lot of diseases which can take alot of time and money of an individual to recover back or at times can have a sad end to the life. This can be clearly seen when there are heavy rainfalls, it not only affect the crop yields, but also takes in lot of people to get hospitalised. Shifting towards the second school of thought, the money attribute. As most of the world’s wealth lies in the hands of 5%, it certainly makes the middle class work very hard just to achieve a sustainable lifestyle for their family. Furthermore, every minute another poor is dying out of hunger and have no access to clean water or other essentials. For instance, in countries like India, where 85% of the population lives below poverty line has to suffer alot of bad phases where they do not even see food for more than 4 days continuously. In conclusion, it is absolutely clear that both the argument does affect the human life to some extend, However it is the economical gap which is making lives havoc more intensly on the earth. While the rich are busy in spending their money on leisures and luxuries, the poor cannot even have the basic needs fulfilled. in so
A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
blame climate for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the economical imbalance responsible for this.
Yet
, I
firmly
believe that it is the financial aspect which is a major issue when compared to the climate. This following paragraph would shed light on both the arguments with a final note.

To commence with the
first
notion, the weather can
directly
affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it can
potentially
alter the crop yields which is
directly
responsible for the farmers’ earnings.
Moreover
, when there is no sufficient crop yields,
consequently
, the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
feel the shortage for resources
as well
.
In addition
to it, changing climate
also
bring in
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
diseases which can take
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of time and money of an individual to recover back or at times can have a sad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to the life. This can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when there are heavy rainfalls, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect the crop yields,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
takes in
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
.

Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, the money attribute. As most of the world’s wealth lies in the hands of 5%, it
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to achieve a sustainable lifestyle for their family.
Furthermore
, every minute another poor is dying out of hunger and have no access to clean water or other essentials.
For instance
, in countries like India, where 85% of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
below poverty line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
suffer
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
phases where they do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
food for more than 4 days
continuously
.

In conclusion
, it is
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that both the argument does affect the human life to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
,
However
it is the economical gap which is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
havoc more
Possible spelling mistake found.
intensly
on the earth. While the rich are busy in spending their money on
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisures
and luxuries, the poor cannot even have the basic needs fulfilled.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
so

IELTS essay some people believ that climate affects the person's way of life while others believ greater imapct on th econmy of region.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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