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Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that this will make children feel burdened and stressed. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that this will make children feel burdened and stressed. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. g80LL
Having enough rest is very crucial for everyone, including children. It is often debatable how children should use their spare time. Many people believe it is important to have organized activities while the others think it might be a burden for children to have fixed activities during their free time. In my perspective, organizing activities help children become more productive which will benefit them both academically and mentally. Organizing activities especially in children’s spare time will help them succeed in school. It has been proven by research that children have better ability in learning compared with adults. Due to this reason, it is very important for children to maximize their time effectively by having planned activities such as routine learning time and some productive activities. Children who spend their time learning consistently have shown that they are more likely to ace in exams and get ranking in classes compared to other children who do not study continuously. Furthermore, they tend to be less stressed when it comes to exam preparation since they already review material oftenly so they feel at ease and less stressed. This also impacted their exam result which showed a significant gap with other students. Other than that, it helps children develop their personalities. Children with regular activities during free time are shown to be more confident and responsible when dealing with school problems. For example, if they have a school project and presentation they tend to be active and have good adaptation. It can be seen by how they are giving their opinion and also communicating confidently with their group. This type of children usually have good understanding for certain topic because they have high curiosity and tend to use their time to explore things that they like for example if they like computer they might spend time surving in the internet looking tech news or articles, and if they like math they might spending time doing math problems and explore more in the respective fields. Lastly, they are also students who have good responsibility. They always submit their work on time because they know how important it is to be an organized person. In conclusion, it is very recommended that children spend their time wisely by optimizing spare time for personal development activities. Having organized activities helps children to achieve this goal which will benefit them in numerous ways from academic success to personal growth.
Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for everyone, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debatable how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
while the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it might be a burden for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my perspective, organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more productive which will benefit them both
academically
and mentally.

Organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them succeed in school. It has
been proven
by research that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have better ability in learning compared with adults. Due to this reason, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to maximize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effectively
by having planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as routine learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
learning
consistently
have shown that they are more likely to ace in exams and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ranking in classes compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do not study
continuously
.
Furthermore
, they tend to be less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to exam preparation since they already review material
oftenly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. This
also
impacted their exam result which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a significant gap with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop their personalities.

Children with regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are shown
to be more confident and responsible when dealing with school problems.
For example
, if they have a school project and presentation they tend to be active and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
adaptation. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by how they are giving their opinion and
also
communicating
confidently
with their group. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
usually
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding for certain topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have high curiosity and tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to explore things that they like
for example
if they like computer they might spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
surving
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
looking tech news or articles, and if they like math they might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing math problems and explore more in the respective fields.
Lastly
, they are
also
students who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
responsibility. They always submit their work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is to be an organized person.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
by optimizing spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for personal development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Having organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to achieve this goal which will benefit them in numerous ways from academic success to personal growth.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that this will make children feel burdened and stressed. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that this will make children feel burdened and stressed. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.