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Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. kGbd
In busy world, getting a leisure period for toddlers is very difficult. In that Half of the people argue that, adolescent should spent those time in a systematic way and few public opposes that, in free time they can do anything. It's upto their choice. From my perspective, children's should have every right to decided whatever they want to do in their free time. Due to the ongoing chages in the society. Adults, Through out their life, spent much of the time in the education because of this, they hardly managed to spare few hours from their busy schedule for leisure activities. in those times citizens should not strangled them to do tasks in a scheduled manner. For examples, places like India huge competition from the child age, getting a time from that competition is hard but if they get any few hours spare time. It's their choice to spent those free. Not even parents have right to say about it. However, in few cultures every work need to fallow in a sequence manner they inherited this activities from their child. Because of this, even if they get any free time also they do their regular activities. To illustrate, children's in Japan fallow systematic work in their leisure period because of this they achieve heights in their life. On the contrary, forcing infant to do work in a organised way. because of this mental stress will build up on them and preventing them to work efficiently and in most bizarre cases causes mental disorders.
In busy world, getting a leisure period for toddlers is
very
difficult. In that Half of the
people
argue that, adolescent should
spent
those
time
in a systematic way
and few public opposes that, in
free
time
they can do anything. It's
upto
their choice. From my perspective, children's should have every right to decided whatever they want to do in their
free
time
. Due to the ongoing
chages
in the society. Adults,
Through out
their life, spent much of the
time
in the education
because of this
, they hardly managed to spare few hours from their busy schedule for leisure activities.
in
those
times
citizens should not
strangled
them
to do
tasks in a scheduled manner. For examples, places like India huge competition from the child age, getting a
time
from that competition is
hard
but
if they
get
any few hours spare
time
. It's their choice
to spent
those
free
. Not even parents have right to say about it.
However
, in few cultures every
work
need to fallow in a sequence manner they inherited
this
activities from their child.
Because of this
, even if they
get
any
free
time
also
they do their regular activities. To illustrate, children's in Japan fallow systematic
work
in their leisure period
because of this
they achieve heights in their life.
On the contrary
, forcing infant to do
work
in a organised way
.
because
of this mental
stress
will build up on them and preventing them to
work
efficiently
and in most bizarre cases causes mental disorders.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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