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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages? p7Xd
In this modern era, social media is playing vital role in every one’s life. it has become important part of every single person’s life in last few years. Ones can keep up to dates with the lives of their friends, families as well as co workers. So, I totally agree with the given statements social media has more advantages than disadvantages and would like to discuss about it in the forth coming paragraph. Firstly, people’s relationship has improved more as compare to past, as nowadays every one is doing fulltime work and have very less time to see or talk to someone so with the help of media they can easily communicate or do video call with each other from any part of the world. More than that, it also led positive impact on children development as it is seen that today’s children are smarter than past due to social media because pupils learn a lot of things every day on social apps such as what’s app, Facebook and instar gram. Furthermore, it gives us opportunities to get latest information and keep up with world trend. Beside this, social platform is also saving people’s money. For example, in the past if anyone wanted to make international call, they have been more charged but these days on such social apps like what’s app and messenger etc. , ones can make call any time without any coast. In the end it can conclude that, people must aware of how they should use social media and care full to post respectful consent then it goes without saying that their advantages of social media far outweigh the disadvantages. Children and youngster should be allowed to take benefits from such technology.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is playing vital role in every one’s life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of every single person’s life in last few years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ones
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up to dates with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their friends, families
as well
as
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
co workers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has more advantages than disadvantages and would like to
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
in the forth coming paragraph.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s relationship has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to past, as nowadays every one is doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulltime
work and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or talk to someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
they can
easily
communicate or do video call with each other from any part of the world. More than that, it
also
led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on children development as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s children are smarter than past due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pupils learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things every day on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps such as what’s app, Facebook and instar gram.

Furthermore
, it gives us opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with world trend. Beside this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform is
also
saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s money.
For example
, in the past if anyone wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
international call, they have been more charged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps like what’s app and messenger etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
call any time without any coast.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it can conclude that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
must aware
of how they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and care full to post respectful consent then it goes without saying that their advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
far outweigh the disadvantages. Children and youngster should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take benefits from such technology.
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IELTS essay Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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