Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? gMxg
These days everyone is living in multicultural societies. In this modern era, traveling has become trend for ones. Nowadays people like to travel more than past as well as Its hard-to-find country or cities where there are no immigrants. There a lot of things can be done buy government to ensure that all these people live together peacefully. So, I would like to discuss about it in the forthcoming paragraph. Firstly, government should insist that schools teach history and culture to students so, they can come know about other culture’ history rather than knowing about their own national only. It can lead positive impact on society as well as country. People will welcome other immigrants with open heart if they would know about their culture. More than that, authority should organise multicultural festivals where people can get together from different countries or cultures due to this their relationship can become more better. Moreover, when immigrants try to settle in other country then government should offer free language and culture lesion to immigrants then they will not face any problems while living in other country. Beside this, newcomer should be given all facilities as citizens have due to this, they will not feel any discrimination and help them to live comfortably. In the end it can concluded that, government should have all equal rights for everyone whether its outsider or citizens as well as immigrants should be provided protection to make sure they are safe and secure in their country.
These days everyone is living in multicultural societies. In this modern era, traveling has become trend for ones. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to travel more than past
as well
as Its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-to-find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or cities where there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
. There
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things can
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to ensure that all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
peacefully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would like to
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
in the forthcoming paragraph.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should insist that schools teach history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture’
history
rather
than knowing about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. It can lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
with open heart if they would know about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. More than that, authority should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
multicultural festivals where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
due to this their relationship can become
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
.

Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
try to settle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should offer free language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
lesion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
then they will not face any problems while living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Beside this, newcomer should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
all facilities as citizens have due to this, they will not feel any discrimination and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "conclude"
concluded
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have all equal rights for everyone whether its outsider or citizens
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
should
be provided
protection to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they are safe and secure in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts