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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays a mobile phone is not a luxury anymore and schoolchildren have such a device. However, people have different views about whether let children use phones at school or should it be prohibited. Personally, I would support the latter one. There are several reasons why pupils should be given permission to a cell phone usage at schools. Firstly, methods of teaching are absolutely different from those used before. As today they are based on the integration of new technologies in education to keep pupils more interested in subject and to facilitate the learning process. For example, pupils may be asked to use their phones to consolidate new themes and practice it playing topic-based games online. Secondly, it helps parents to make sure that their children are safe and attend classes because modern phones have a supplementary function which allows to keep children under surveillance. However, I agree with those who are against of schoolchildren using telephones during classes. First of all, phones interfere the educational process and lead to bad performance at school. There is a high possibility that instead of studying children can be easily enticed to be engaged in playing games or texting with friends on social networking. Another factor is that it enables children to cheat at examinations. With the access to a variety of resources on the Internet it is very easy to find the answers to the tasks or can use a calculator to do complex mathematical figuring. As a result, schoolchildren may think that with no effort they can get high marks and feel reluctant towards studying. In conclusion, although phones provide with digital materials during lessons and aid parents to monitor their child`s attendance, I strongly believe that cell phone allowance during schooldays interrupts their educational progression.
Nowadays a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is not a luxury anymore and schoolchildren have such a device.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at school or should it
be prohibited
.
Personally
, I would support the latter one.

There are several reasons why pupils should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
permission to a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage at schools.
Firstly
, methods of teaching are
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. As
The comma is probably missing here: "today, they".
today they
are based
on the integration of new technologies in education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pupils more interested in subject and to facilitate the learning process.
For example
, pupils may
be asked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to consolidate new themes and practice it playing topic-based games online.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are safe and attend classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have a supplementary function which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under surveillance.

However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who are against of schoolchildren using telephones during classes.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
interfere the educational process and lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
performance at school. There is a high possibility that
instead
of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
easily
enticed to
be engaged
in playing games or texting with friends on social networking. Another factor is that it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to cheat at examinations. With the access to a variety of resources on the Internet it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to find the answers to the tasks or can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a calculator to do complex mathematical figuring.
As a result
, schoolchildren may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with no effort they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high marks and feel reluctant towards studying.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
provide with digital materials during lessons and aid parents to monitor their
The character between 'child' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "child’s" (curly apostrophe) or "child's" (straight apostrophe).
child`s
attendance, I
strongly
believe that cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
allowance during schooldays interrupts their educational progression.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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