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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? v.15

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? v. 15
A group of people believe that enrolling children in school at an early age is a negative thing. They think that the best age for children to enter school is around six or seven years old. On the contrary, other people believe that children should go to school at the earliest possible age. The following essay will discuss these two different views in details. On the one hand, it is a fact that many parents are enrolling their children in school at an early age these days. These children have been registered at toddler or nursery classes at the age of two or three years. These people think that educating their children at an early age is a good thing since the children would be much smarter and brighter than those who go to school at the standard age. However, there have been some negative cases reported regarding this act. Some of them have become stressed and depressed and impacted on their normal behaviour. On the other hand, there are parents who believe that children should start school at the normal age, which is around six or seven years old. These people believe that the standard age defined by the Ministry of Education has been set based on some scientific and psychological research. Therefore, it would be best for parents to follow the standard. Besides that, children could also learn things at home before they reach the school age period. Parents could purchase some educative toys for their children such as Lego which would help them in learning words, shape and colours. In conclusion, people have argued about the best age for children to enter school. Some of the people prefer to register their children at the age of two or three while others just enrol their children at the normal age, which is between the age of six or seven years old. Both views have their own advantages point but I personally believe that registering the children at the normal age is the best way.
A group of
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people
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believe
that enrolling
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children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is around six or seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
On the contrary
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the earliest possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The following essay will discuss these two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, it is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are enrolling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
these days. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
been registered
at toddler or nursery classes at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of two or three years. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that educating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be much smarter and brighter than those who go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
However
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
cases reported regarding this act.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them have become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and depressed and impacted on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

On the other hand
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, which is around six or seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
defined by the Ministry of Education has
been set
based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientific and psychological research.
Therefore
, it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to follow the standard.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could
also
learn things at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
period.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educative toys for their
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children
such as Lego which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in learning words, shape and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
.

In conclusion
,
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people
have argued about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to register their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of two or three while others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enrol their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, which is between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of six or seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Both views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that registering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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