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Some people believe that children have too much freedom these days.

Some people believe that children have too much freedom these days. wBngn
Many people opine that children have too much freedom. Some parents think that their children spend a lot of time with their gadjets such as a mobile phone. Is it good or bad? Do new technologies deteriorate the new generation? This essay is divided into three sections. It will first consider some pros and cons. It will then continue a discussion. Finally, some conclusions will be drawn. Let's consider some advantages and disadvantages of children's freedom these days. Now children have more opportunities than earlier. Also, I think they have their "best friend" which is a mobile phone and they a lot of time spend with a phone. I think that freedom is important for children now. Children can walk with their friends, read books, do their homework, have a hobby and others. But many adults believe that it is bad for children and think that children should only stay at home and read books or do their homework. It is strict in relation to children. There are children who smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. So such children must be told by their parents. My opinion is that childhood is given for entertainment but children shouldn't forget about education. Hence, children can do all things but think about how this helps them. For example, children study for their future. To draw the conclusion, I can say that now children differ from before. Don't forget that everybody has their own opinion and they can do what they want. Adults can advise to their children and explain the difference of good or bad.
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Many
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people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have too much freedom.
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Some
parents
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think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
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a lot of
time with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
gadjets
such as a mobile phone. Is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
? Do new technologies deteriorate the new generation? This essay
is divided
into three sections. It will
first
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons. It will then continue a discussion.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conclusions will
be drawn
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages of children's freedom these days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more opportunities than earlier.
Also
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they have their
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
best friend
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
which is a mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
phone and
they
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a lot of
time spend with a phone. I
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think
that freedom is
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important
for
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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Children
can walk with their friends, read books, do their homework, have a hobby
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and others
.
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But
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many
adults believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
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children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stay at home and read books or do their homework. It is strict in relation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
by their parents. My opinion is that childhood is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shouldn't forget about education.
Hence
,
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children
can do all things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about how this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
study for their future.

To draw the conclusion, I can say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
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children
differ from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Don't forget that everybody has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
opinion and
they can do what they want. Adults can advise to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the difference of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children have too much freedom these days.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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